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Chapter 18
William looked at Anne sitting across from him in the dimly lit restaurant. She was beautiful in the candlelight. Luminescent and gentle, but there was a sort of unhappiness in her eyes. Try as he may, William hadn't been able to get past an invisible barrier that she held. Anne was hard to figure out. She was not like the girls he normally dated, but then that was why he was dating her in the first place. He needed someone well thought of and proper. If she was like the other airheads he knew, they would be in his bed right now instead of making small talk over their dessert. No, she wasn't to be pursued in the normal fashion. He would have to charm her. Woo her. Still it had been a few dates, a few expensive dates, and even though she'd played hard to get so far, she must have loosened up by now to permit him some advances.
"I don't know about you, but I'm done." He threw his napkin on the table and paused. Then as if the thought had just occurred to him, "Would you like to come back to my place for a drink?"
Anne hesitated before replying. She sipped her coffee slowly mulling over the implications behind his offer. Frederick's face flashed before her, but she dispelled the image. She hadn't heard from him. No one had heard from him for two months. He was gone from her life. Probably for good this time, so what would be the point in waiting? Anne sat her cup on the table. "I think that would be nice." She smiled lightly.
William smiled back.
Anne was led into William's townhouse. William asked her to make herself at home while he was getting the drinks, so she sat down in the painfully expensive chair and leaned back, feeling the baby soft leather with the palms of her hands. She still felt a bit nervous being there, but the several dates they'd had dispelled most of the discomfort. Anne held her breath and then blew it out, trying to calm herself. What am I doing? I shouldn't be here. It didn't feel right to her at all. She thought of Frederick and what he was doing then, wherever he was. She shook her head and tried to think of something else. Anne looked around the living room then got up to take a closer look at some of the objects William had lying around.
The first thing she thought of was beige. The whole place was excessively... beige. It was a masculine room filled with heavy leather furniture, and placed here and there were exotic fertility statues. Small, large, wooden, porcelain, they were tucked into corners and gracing tables all about the room. Anne looked at a few strangely-carved, heavily-endowed figurines. Some people collected the most unusual objects, she thought. She passed by a glass shelf filled with books on Asian erotica and gave it a passing glance before moving on to the large entertainment center. Scattered here and there were silver meditation balls in their velvet pockets. She saw a framed print of a Japanese samurai and a Geisha engaged in a very private act. Anne squinted at it then moved on. She noticed that he had a lot of video taping equipment around. Anne didn't think much of it; he was an agent and would need these things for his work. He probably liked to make his own movies too; it seemed that everyone in Hollywood either wanted to produce or direct. She pulled out a movie from the neatly stacked pile on top of a speaker. It was a home made movie, My Dinner with Andrea. Anne chuckled to herself, it sounded so ridiculous. Some people would watch anything. He'd probably ask her to watch it and give her honest opinion about the symbolism and colour schemes and food meanings. She put it back on top of the pile.
She sat back down when she heard William coming from the kitchen. He carried a tray with two glasses, a bottle of wine, and some cheeses cut up on a little dish. He poured the wine and smiled at Anne as he handed her a glass. She took it from him, unconsciously avoiding his touch.
"Thank you." Anne held the stem in her fingertips twirling the glass slightly trying to think of something to say. "This is certainly an interesting art collection you have." She glanced at a figure near her chair.
"Yes, I love art and these pieces just spoke out to me." William flashed his smile at her again. "Actually, I have a very interesting book in the library you might want to see. If you'll excuse me, I'll go and fetch it."
Anne smiled back. "Of course."
William turned away and walked into a room off to the side of the hallway. Anne raised her glass and sipped the wine. She stopped when she saw the glass. There was lipstick on the opposite rim and it was not hers. She looked at the door where William had gone into and quietly spit the wine back in. She held the glass up to the light so she could see it better. Yes, lipstick faded and slightly smeared from the dishwasher but still sticky and still very red and very cheap. It was a shade that stained whatever it came into contact with and was rarely seen off the streets and off young girls in skimpy clothes, girls that charged by the hour for their company.
Once the thought entered her mind, she couldn't get rid of it. Anne shivered and set the glass down on the coffee table then wiped her hands on her dress. Anne felt disgusted. To be sure she didn't think that she was the only person that William had been seeing, he seemed to be too much of a man about town for her to assume that, but she didn't really want a reminder about it. Anne shrugged to herself, well what did you expect, you didn't come into this relationship with your heart disengaged, why should he be different?
Stop it, Anne. Stop thinking about him. Anne close her eyes and willed herself to think of something else.
Anne leaned back in her chair and waited. She wouldn't say anything to him about the glass; it would be too embarrassing and she didn't feel like listening to explanations now. Once more her thoughts turned to Frederick but she shoved him away. He had no business intruding. He was gone. She took a slice of cheese and nibbled on it then wished she didn't because it made her thirsty. She looked at William's glass of wine sitting opposite her and wondered if she should switch glasses with him. Then she remembered that she'd spit the wine back into her glass so she decided against it. She would just ask him for some water instead. William seemed to be taking a very long time to her.
Anne looked away from the glass and stared at all the objects in the room, the statues, the framed picture, and the books on the shelf. She wondered about his choice of collections. What made people want to collect things in the first place? She never had a desire to collect things beyond a few photographs of her family and friends. She didn't like to place too much emphasis on material objects for they tended to disappear; she had an accumulation of memories stored in her heart to be kept forever without fear of fire or theft. She did have a few precious objects that belonged to her mother and a small ring that Frederick had given to her when they were engaged, but she didn't count that as a collection, like someone who would collect stamps or salt and pepper shakers. She thought of them as a small link to her past. So Anne kept her memories close to her heart, to be taken out and dusted off from time to time and to be held, cherished, to wonder at what might have been and what once was.
Once going on this track Anne could no longer deny Frederick entrance to her thoughts. She sighed and hated herself. It was happening again. No matter who she was dating, she would start thinking about Frederick. Anne shook her head. She would not be staying any longer tonight. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't find anyone to replace Frederick. Her feelings were adverse to every man save one, but she couldn't have him. Anne pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. All she had left were her memories and her regrets buried within her. He was in her heart because she didn't know how to let go. Dating William was a waste of time. Her union to Frederick could not divide her more from other men than their final separation. She was bound to him, forever. And to be bound forever to someone who did not love you back was a hard price to pay for one mistake.
"Here it is! It was buried in some boxes in my office." William's voice called out from the office. Anne hurriedly sat up and put an interested look onto her face. William came out of the room holding a large book in his hand. It was a coffee table book of old TV shows. William flipped to the pages that had glossy black and white pictures of her parents in them. Anne's attention was caught, and after looking through the pictures and remarking to Anne on her resemblance to her mother, which made her blush prettily, William led the conversation to the particulars of their first meeting. He gave her to understand that he had looked at her with some earnestness. She knew it well; and she remembered another person's look also. Another memory to add to her collection.
Anne smiled at William in gratitude for trying to make her feel at home, but she thought that she'd been there long enough. It was getting late, and she was tired of being polite. She stood up to go. William was surprised to see her leave so soon, but he played her game, understanding that to try to persuade her to stay would only make her leave faster. He charmed Anne to the door and charmed her into her car and saw her off. He checked his watch and thought it was early enough to go cruising on Sunset Blvd. and pick up some delectable tidbit for the evening.
Chapter 19
Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.
Frederick walked from the mailroom, down the gangway, glancing at the MARSgram station, and ducked into his tiny office. He held a good size package under an arm, proof that Sofie had not forgotten his birthday. The package was tossed on the desk; he would open it later in this semi-privacy of his bunk.
Six hours later Frederick was tearing at the tape, ripping the cardboard packaging. He knew he looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. He pried open the flap and stuck his hand in digging for something. He felt something soft, she got me a sweater. He felt something hard and rectangular, movie? Then his fingers felt what they were searching for and he grabbed the large plastic bag and wiggled it out of the opening he'd made in the box. Chocolate chip! Thank you, Sofie! Frederick opened up the bag and stuffed two cookies in his mouth, then calmly opened up the package the rest of the way. He pulled out letters and the sweater that he would not need in the Pacific at this time of the year and a videotape. He looked at the lettering on the label. To Freddie with Love. He smiled and popped it into the VCR to watch. Sofie was always doing stuff like this for him.
He munched on cookies and rifled though the box some more as the tape showed pictures of his sister and her husband waving to him from the movie theatre, from their pool, from the beach. He didn't pay much attention to it but listened to their voices. He was busy reading the note that Sofie had sent with the box... The pen is from Anne Elliot. I guess she must know what a bad correspondent you are, but I hope you take the hint and write to us soon, when Sofie's voice cut through his reverie like a knife, "Anne, tell Frederick Happy Birthday!" Frederick's head snapped up as Sofie moved onto a different person, he'd just missed seeing Anne. He sat up, banging his head on the upper bunk. He hurriedly rewound the tape, rubbing the aching spot on his head.
Sofie was filming in the Musgrove's house. He could see Anne sitting in the window seat feet tucked under her and staring out the window. The sun outlined her body, casting an aura around her and catching the highlights in her hair until Sofie moved into a better position. Sofie was talking to someone off camera, but Anne didn't look up until Sofie prompted her, "Anne, tell Frederick Happy Birthday!"
Anne looked up, startled. She smiled at the camera, at Frederick, "Happy Birthday, Commander." She gave a small wave, and Sofie moved to a different person. Frederick was just leaning forward to rewind the tape again when he recognized who it was. It was the man from the beach; the man who'd eyed Anne up and down like she was a piece of furniture. What the Hell was he doing there? Frederick watched as the camera followed the man back to Anne. He said something that made Anne smile. Frederick felt the cookie he had just swallowed dry up in his throat. Sofie moved away so that Anne faded back into the shadows again. Frederick balled his hands into fists as he saw Anne move over in her seat to make room for this... person to join her. Who the Hell was he?
Frederick stopped the tape. She sent me a pen but gave herself to this man? Frederick felt ill. Couldn't you wait just a little bit more, Anne?
His hand, still in the box knocked over something small and thin. Absently he picked it up and stared at it blankly. It was a pen. He took it in his hands and snapped it in half. He didn't want her gift. She obviously didn't want him to write to her. She was being well taken care of as it was.
Chapter 20
Frederick looked at the broken halves of the pen lying on the deck of the ship. He felt stupid for doing such a childish thing. What business of his was it if Anne wanted to move on? He'd given her plenty of reasons to do so for the past nine years why should he be surprised now? She'd waited, seen him, and moved on. It was as simple as that. You could have dome something months ago instead of torturing yourself. It's not Anne's fault anymore. She would have given you a chance if you'd let her.
The broken pen lay in the corner accusingly. It was white in the middle where the plastic had been stretched then snapped. He picked it up and threw it into the trashcan. It was unserviceable now, he couldn't use it if he wanted to. And he didn't want to. He secured his presents, especially the cookies, in his locker and left the area for chow. He didn't know what to think anymore.
Ten days later.
Frederick stood in the bridge as the ship pulled into the bay at Pattaya, Thailand. The enlisted crew were standing at attention out on the deck in their whites and the ferryboats were hovering close by to take the first groups of sailors to port. There wasn't enough room for the ship to dock so the ferries had to work all day and night shuttling men back and forth. Frederick slapped at a mosquito that was buzzing around his neck and idly read the ship's log. Despite his resolve not to think about it, his mind constantly kept wandering back to the videotape that Sofie had sent. As a result he'd buried himself with work. He wondered who it was that Anne was with and why he was there. The thought of him with Anne drove him nuts. But now that he was in port he would have something to do to keep him from thinking too much. That was the problem with being on ship, you had too much time to think, too much time to sit around and wonder 'what if'. It was enough to drive a man insane if he wasn't careful. And Frederick was a very careful man.
It was too hot out. It was the type of heat that made elephants faint. Already his shirt clung to his back and he'd only been ashore for fifteen minutes. Everywhere he looked there were sailors and tourists walking about, most had a girl or two with them. A few disappeared into bars; some were just goofing off and having fun. The sounds of the hawkers and pedestrians and honking horns mixed with the heat and the smells were overwhelming at first, but since this wasn't Frederick's first visit to Thailand he kept on going. He strode down the street and ignored the cries of the barkers shoving fliers that advertised bars and restaurants into people's hands. Several people propositioned him but he shrugged off their advances. He needed to get to a phone.
He finally saw one. He walked up to the line and waited for twenty minutes for the person in front of him to get off. He reached into his pocket and got out a slip of paper that had Anne's number scribbled on it. He had to know. The phone clicked a couple of times before it rang and Frederick waited breathlessly for Anne to pick up. Instead he got a recording.
"The number you have dialed, 310-533-2815 has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check your number and try again."
Frederick squeezed his eyes shut with frustration, then took a deep breath. He hung up and redialed, checking every digit of the number before he pushed it. He got the recording. He tried again, hitting the numbers twice as hard as before. No luck. Frederick slammed the phone down with all his might jingling the change in the safety-box. This just wasn't fair. He thought about calling Sofie but put it off until later. Right now he was thirsty. He wiped the sweat from his brow and looked around.
Tossing the useless scrap of paper away, he pushed his way past several people who were waiting in line to use the phone and walked into a dimly lit restaurant. He sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.
This was the worst deployment he'd ever been on.
He ignored the music and the girls dancing on stage and gulped his drink. So, now Anne's moved, her number's changed, and you're a jerk. Life's funny that way. He ordered another one and slapped at some flies that hovered over a maraschino cherry stem that lay on the bar. The flies came back seconds later. He cupped his chin with his hand and wondered what his next step would be. Who was that man? He wondered if Anne ever thought about him anymore. Damn, I should have talked to her when I had the chance. Perhaps I'll write her a letter. Anne would have left a forwarding address. He emptied his glass and ordered one more. A girl slid up to him and sat down. She thrust her face into Frederick's view.
"You got girlfrien' US?"
Fredrick stared at the countertop sullenly and shook his head.
"Buy me drinkee?" He hesitated for a second then motioned to the bartender who instantly supplied the girl with a drink. She sipped at it and then left it alone. "Lo'king for some comp'ny?"
Frederick looked at the girl sitting next to him. Ten to one she worked here, plying customers to buy her drinks, the more expensive the better. Whatever she did on the side was her own business as long as the management got a cut of the profits. Frederick inhaled deeply then let it all out in a big whoosh. What the heck, he had nothing to loose. He took out some bills and tossed them on the counter. "Sure. You look like you could use something to eat. Wanna go grab a bite?" He put his arm around her waist and they headed out the door.
One day later.
Frederick stumbled down the sidewalk, bounced off a brick wall, and then slid to the pavement. His clothes were torn, his watch was missing, and he was battered. Flies hovered around his head and he swatted at them uselessly. Some people stared at him but didn't offer to help. He was just another drunk American sailor heading back to his ship, besides he smelled like vomit and peanut sauce. Frederick looked up and saw the ferry at the dock bobbing with the waves. Frederick's head bobbed along with it for a few minutes until he realized that he had to get on the ship. His shoulder throbbed painfully, it registered vaguely in Frederick's mind that he should go to sickbay when he got on board but first he had to get there.
Frederick pulled himself up to a wobbling position and with heavy concentration he lifted a foot and stepped forward... to the left. Frederick lifted the other foot and stepped forward... to the right. He looked up and watched the seagulls hover in the air by the garbage cans chained up near the pier. They cried out in piercing shrieks that sent waves of pain into Frederick's already pounding head. He breathed in slowly, trying to get his balance. Then he started again.
It took him ten minutes to reach the ferry, but considering the shape he was in, that was a record time. The swaying of the ferry didn't help his condition any but since his stomach was empty, there wasn't much danger of him throwing anything up. Once he was on ship, the guard took one look at him and sent him straight to sickbay to see the doctor.
It took five stitches to patch up the cut just above his eyebrow and his right arm was in a sling due to the broken collarbone. The abrasions on his knuckles and hands were swabbed and cleaned and the doctor refrained from commenting on the condition of his face while he stitched. His ribs were bruised but other than the collarbone, nothing was broken, besides his heart and his mind. Frederick tried to remember what happened but he couldn't be sure. He was almost certain that he'd started whatever it was that he'd done but since there hadn't been any police around or official reports, it couldn't have been more than a barroom scuffle. He had vague recollections of a raven-haired girl, a broken bottle, and a phone but he wasn't too clear on the order of things.
He went to his bed, humiliated and with a throbbing headache. He'd never ever in his career went wild like that, either overseas or in the States. What was wrong with him? He sat on the bunk and looked at his desk. There was a letter on it. He grabbed it and flipped it over to look at the address hoping that Anne had written him. It was from Sofie. He ripped open the envelope, using his teeth to hold it. Now that he was more sober, his arm was killing him. He shook the letter open and concentrated on the words.
It was filled with the usual news about herself and Thomas and how things were in Southern California. He got to the middle when he stopped short.
I do have some news that will be a surprise to you. I've just been to the Musgroves across the street and they tell me that Lori is now engaged to James Benwick, you're old Navy buddy. I was surprised at first, since you and Lori were so close when you were here, but that's the way things are sometimes. It's out of sight out of mind with some people. Of course that isn't very nice to say considering that Lori can't see but I only meant that figuratively of course. Which reminds me, I was told that she's recovering very well now. It's slow going but progress is being made everyday. That's very good news indeed.I do miss you. I wish you would keep in contact more often. I'm going to guess that you haven't used the pen Anne sent since I haven't gotten a letter from you in weeks. Can you not take a hint? Poor Anne, she's had to move in last week. I don't think she wanted to but the rent was raised and so she had no choice in the matter. I like Anne very much, she's a lady, and ladies are few and far between in this day and age. It's too bad she's not seeing anyone right now, I would like to see her happy and in love.
When you're in port don't forget to pick up that box I was telling you about...
The letter ran on with more gossip and ended with the usual Love, Sofie. Frederick stared at the letter in amazement. His head was clearer now but the pain in his shoulder was still agonizing. He welcomed it; he wanted to be reminded about how stupid he was this trip. He reread the letter again, his pulse quickening with excitement. There were two inscrutable facts that worked like magic to his sore aching head. Lori no longer cared for him and Anne wasn't dating anyone. He whooped out in jubilation, then winced in pain as his movements jarred his shoulder. He held his arm still and very carefully lay down on his bed to think things through. Over and over he kept repeating to himself, Anne's not seeing anyone. How would Sofie know that, he reasoned with himself. It's easy, Sofie was a dear, she was intelligent, she was a good sport but she was an incurable gossip. She could squeeze information out of a rock. And she wrote that Anne was unattached. He still had a chance.
He calculated how much longer he would be out at sea. He thought of various ways to talk to Anne. He thought of a number of possibilities to prove himself, but the one thing that he focused on was that he had to earn her respect again. He had to start over. He glanced at the sling that his arm rested in. Anne may never know about his actions today but his behavior to her in the past was abominable. He will deserve her, he was determined. This last port call would be the last time he went on some drunken rampage. Anne deserved someone better than that. Someone who would cherish her and love her until he died.
He had to wait until his shoulder healed. He couldn't face her like this, broken up from a fight that he'd started. No, he would wait, he would make himself worthy of her, and then he would seek her out.
Chapter 21
Frederick hummed along to the music playing in the background as he leaned back in his chair filling out some paperwork in his lap. He'd been ashore for a week now and fortunately his shoulder was healing rapidly. He counted the days until he could approach Anne again.
Someone rapped upon the door. A captain opened the door and poked his head in when Frederick told him to enter.
"Hey, Captain." Frederick brought his chair to all fours with a loud thunk and waited for the captain to speak. "How've you been?"
"Good... good. Just passing by on my way out the door. I wanted to know how your shoulder was." Captain Riveras came into the room and stood before Frederick.
"Fine. It's still weak but I'm able to use it now." Frederick scratched the tip of his nose with the end of his pen. "What's up? You didn't come in here to chit chat."
"Nope." Riveras smiled at him then tossed a manila folder onto Frederick's desk. He sat down. "You won't be going to Surface Warfare school."
Frederick sighed to himself. He knew his chances were pretty slim to get in, he was still junior in his rank and the waiting list was long but still, he had hoped. "Okay. What have you got for me?"
"Well, we decided that since your shoulder is still pretty beat up..."
"I can use it."
"...and since you won't be shipping out for another eight months or so..."
Frederick had a bad feeling about this. "Ye-ees?"
"Right. We've been requested to volunteer a couple of bodies to act as advisors for a film."
"S'cuse me?" Frederick was dumbfounded. He pulled the folder closer and looked at the cover. "Mister Roberts." He looked up at Riveras in disbelief. "You want me to play tiddlywinks with a bunch of Hollywood yo-yos?"
"Oh, give me a break, Wentworth. This," He poked his finger at the folder, "is a cake assignment. You'll stay in a hotel, eat in restaurants not some greasy chow hall, go to work at nine, hob-nob with famous people..." Frederick rolled his eyes. "...And by the time you get back to the unit, you'll be back in fighting condition." Riveras leaned over and prodded his finger in Frederick's shoulder.
Frederick drew his breath in sharply but didn't show how much that finger jab hurt. "Why not get someone else to do it? I can't be bothered with this, I have real work to do."
"That's tough because you start tomorrow."
Frederick blew out his breath. "This is ridiculous."
"Yeah I know it is," Riveras shrugged his shoulders. "But that's the way things are. We have two exercises coming up and we don't need gimpy commanders to slow us down." Frederick couldn't stop a scowl from spreading on his face. Riveras stood up and walked to the door before turning around to look at Frederick. "The admirals up in Washington are excited about this picture and the good press it will generate, so do yourself and me a favor and suck it up." Frederick raised an eyebrow. "Relax. It'll be fun. You'll see."
But I didn't join the Navy to have fun. "Anything else, before I go pack my bags and head to La-La land?"
"Welll, just try not to kill anyone while you're there." Riveras chuckled to himself.
"Is that a direct order, sir?" Frederick smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"You bet it is." Captain Riveras walked out the door and closed it behind him.
"Aye-aye, sir." Frederick watched the captain leave and then opened up the cover of the folder and skimmed the contents. The captain was right, it was a cake assignment, but he didn't want it, he would rather do anything then this. The one good thing he could think about it was that it would take him to LA and closer to Anne. Frederick was about to close the folder when his eyes caught the word 'Elliot'. His eyes roved around the page until he found what he'd been searching for... Walter Elliot was cast as the flaky Navy captain. Frederick felt a smile tickle the corners of his mouth and tried to suppress it but it was useless, the smile and the laughter burst out in a wave of pent up frustration that left him clinging to the desk when he was finished.
Frederick wiped his eyes and then gathered his stuff together. He would leave early to get his things packed. Walter may not know it, but the jerk was going to be the key to getting him back together with Anne. Frederick just didn't know exactly how yet.
Chapter 22
Frederick looked around the set. It was bigger than he thought it would be. Shooting would start in a couple of days and right now there were fittings and rehearsals to finish. Then he saw who he was looking for. Frederick breathed in deeply and started walking. There he was, Walter Elliot in all his shining glory standing in front of the confection table, picking the sprinkles off a heavily frosted donut and dropping them on the floor. Next to him was the director of the film explaining in detail exactly what he wanted Walter to portray in the first scene. Frederick thought of possible things to say to him, some were not that polite, but decided that a short simple hello would suffice. For now.
Frederick stopped when he reached the table and waited for the director to finish. He looked amusedly at Walter, in full uniform, captain's hat perched at a cocky angle on his head. Frederick crossed his arms and eyed this man up and down. Certainly he looked the same, a little heavier perhaps but that wasn't out of the ordinary for a man his age. Walter still exuded a condescending attitude towards anyone who was not himself. Frederick scratched his neck wondering if there was a chance of persuading Walter to give him Anne's number.
At last the director was finished and upon noticing Frederick standing there, he politely introduced Walter to him and then promptly left. Walter looked at Frederick up and down, dismissed him, and then resumed his donut picking exercises. Frederick was about to speak when Walter sharply looked back up at him and peered closer. "Wentworth... Wentworth... I know that name from somewhere... We've met before haven't we?"
Frederick stiffed up considerably, bringing himself to his full height, towering over Walter. You would forget wouldn't you? "Yes, Mr. Elliot, I went to school with your daughter." I would have married her too.
"That's strange, I don't remember Elizabeth mentioning you." Walter looked at him funny.
Frederick pursed his lips together tightly. "I was talking about Anne." He mentally counted to ten.
"Who? Oh, Anne. Oh. Oh, yes... I remember you." Walter's eyes narrowed, showing his displeasure. His voice got chilly. "I thought you joined the Army. What are you doing here?" He dropped another sprinkle on the floor.
Frederick reached ten and started counting all over again. "I joined the Navy... sir. I've been assigned as the Navy's correspondent to the movie. I'll be teaching you and your costars some basics that you will need to know."
Walter looked semi-pleased. "Ahhh, so you've decided to get into the movie business after all. Good move, my boy, good move. After all, there's no business like it. No business at all." Walter laughed at his little joke.
Frederick smiled wanly. How could someone so refined as Anne come from such a bore? "I am not in the movie business. I'm a Lt. Commander in the Navy. This is just a temporary assignment... sir." Frederick turned towards the large buffet-style coffeepot and poured himself a cup. He resisted the urged to throw the contents onto Walter, thereby relieving his own frustration (Army! As if!) but ruining any chances he had with Anne. So he swallowed it, ignoring the bitter taste from the liquid sitting too long on the warmer.
"Hmmm. Well, perhaps you should reconsider that, my boy." Frederick growled inwardly at this endearment. "You're a handsome man, not too wrinkled from your years at sea. Yes, you would make a good leading man. Or maybe not a leading man perhaps but a character actor. Yes, that would be good for you. Why not pay attention to me while you're here, you'll find that you aren't the only one with something to teach." Walter finished with the sprinkles and took a large bite of the donut. He meticulously wiped his hands off with a napkin making sure to get under his finger nails.
Frederick pointedly ignored the recommendation but waited until Walter finished chewing before he said anything. "How is Anne?" He held his breath hoping Walter would cooperate.
"Who? Oh, Anne. Anne's fine. She's fine. I haven't seen too much of her lately. She's been busy." Walter then went on explaining in detail how he would portray his new role in the movie.
Frederick stood there with his mouth firmly closed and his face as passive as he could make it but his eyes betrayed his real thoughts. If Walter took the time to notice his blood would freeze. Frederick passed his hand over his mouth. He was this close to exploding every time Walter forgot who Anne was. His mind wandered as Walter droned on. Anne your daughter. Anne, the one I was going to marry before you persuaded her to change her mind. Anne, the only reason why I stand here with this inane smile on my face pretending to listen to you spew out Hollywood crud while all I want to do is to take every single one of those stupid sprinkles and shove them down your throat. Anne, the strongest most resilient woman I've ever met in my entire life. She was stronger than I ever thought she was. She has to be strong to put up with someone like you for a father without turning into a mealy-mouthed snot-nosed brat like your precious Elizabeth. She was the steadfast one you know. I was weak, afraid of rejection. I couldn't bring myself to face her again. My pride wouldn't allow it so I went through nine meaningless years and a war without her. Do you know what it's like being torn away form the person you love most of all, Walter? Not knowing if you'll survive the next day. Vowing to yourself that you'd find your love and set things right? I do and even then I was weak, I broke my promise and didn't search for Anne. And I missed her. How can you see Elizabeth and not Anne? The two don't even compare. I pity you, Walter. I do. For you cannot see what a truly magnificent daughter you managed to produce. But I can. I can see her clearly as if she were standing right in front of me. At last, my eyes are open and I can think back with pleasure on the past knowing that she chose to me over everyone else. Me. Some nobody from nowhere that her family would not condescend to talk to. I am grateful to her for giving me that much even though she nearly broke my heart in the end. I'm talking about my Anne, Walter, who has never lost one single quality, she's only gained them and yet you continually forget about her. How could you? It's been over nine years and I haven't forgotten her. I could never forget Anne no matter how hard I tried. And believe me, I tried. I tried so hard it hurt. But she was always there, haunting me like a vision I could never grasp. A pot of gold at the end of my rainbow. She's better than you. She's better than all of us. And you stand there and ask me 'who'.
Frederick decided that this wasn't the best time to ask for her number. Nothing short of his winning an Academy Award would produce it from Walter and he'd taken all he could from the man. He would have to take Walter in small doses to build up some sort of immunity from him. Frederick said good day to Walter, who was busy stirring Sweet 'n Low into his coffee, and walked off to his personalized director's chair to sit and think.
One week later.
"But I want to use my left. Why can't I do that?" Walter was as close to hitting a man as he ever was in his life, but this Wentworth fellow was driving him nuts. "I don't understand why I can't."
Frederick spoke slowly so as not to confuse Walter, "You just... can't."
"Well, there's no rule saying that I can't."
"There is a rule and it specifically states that the right hand only is used for saluting."
Walter finally cried out in exasperation, "I cannot work with this man." The director wearily looked over at him with disgust written all over his face. He looked at Frederick who shrugged his shoulders.
"What's the problem, Walter?"
"He insists that I salute with my right hand! I cannot do it. My right side is my best side and saluting with my right hand will cover it up! It's impossible." Walter sniffed.
The director sighed and walked over to the two men. "Walter, the right hand is the only hand to salute with, even I know that. Why can't you just do it?"
"I'd much rather salute with my left." Walter was adamant. "I don't understand why I can't."
"Frederick what do you have to say about it?"
"There's not much saluting going on in the film but it will make Walter the laughing stock if he salutes with his left. That's all there is to it." Frederick hit Walter's weak point.
"A laughing stock? I, Walter Elliot, a laughing stock? They wouldn't dare." He drew in his breath and tugged his shirt down neatly. "Very well, I will salute with my right. I'm sorry to have disturbed you." Walter nodded to the director who left them, shaking his head.
Frederick smiled to himself. He wished he'd saved himself the trouble and thought of that earlier. Walter was the last one to learn this basic step and Frederick was almost done. He just had to hang around for technical advice during shooting.
Chapter 23
March 1
Anne carefully carried the cake into the set, stepping over cables and dolly tracks along the way. She went straight to a small room the assistant director used and placed it on a cart that was waiting for her, smiling gratefully at the crew who helped her get the cake out of the box and onto a serving tray. It would be raining today, she thought as she shrugged out of her coat. She started to shake off the water when she saw Frederick walk by the doorway. He did not look in and so did not see her. Her heart gave a flip-flop.
What is he doing here? Anne peeked around the doorframe and watched the retreating figure. He seems to know everyone. How long has he been here? And why? Anne didn't know, but he was here and so was she and that, my friend, is a good thing.
Anne looked around for a mirror to see what she looked like. The rain had poured down so hard that William dropped her off at the entrance to the set and went to park the car by himself. She hurriedly tucked away loose strands of hair behind her ears and quickly applied a soft shade of lipstick with a shaking hand. She fussed with one stray tendril that insisted on curling wildly over her forehead. She gave up after a while; Frederick had seen her look worse before and besides, he was here and that's all that mattered. After one last look, she turned to go. Anne lit the candles then three crewmen pushed the cart out onto the set. Someone dimmed the lights and Elizabeth breathlessly came rushing up to the other side of the cart. She patted her hair into place as she joined in the singing.
"Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday, Dear Walter.
Happy Birthday tooooo yooooouuu!"
Walter pretended to be surprised and blew out the candles to applause. Someone turned the lights back on and that's when Frederick saw her.
He was standing only two feet away when Anne suddenly appeared before him. To say that he was surprised would be an understatement. His astonishment on seeing her was so great that he flustered for something to say. Anne had to smile, she at least was prepared to meet him, but apparently he wasn't as fast to recover. He didn't know what he spoke of, the rain... hot wet it was... how unusual rain was for this time of year... he only saw that Anne was looking up at him with that small smile playing around her lips and a soft bouncy curl dipping low on her forehead that he wanted to touch so dearly.
Anne was floating on a cloud. Everywhere about her were people milling around to get a piece of cake but she didn't notice them at all. She came back down to Earth however when Elizabeth gave her a nudge her and said that she was leaving, she had a meeting in twenty minutes. Anne said her goodbyes and turned her attention back to Frederick.
"You're not going with her?" Frederick's voice was low so only Anne could hear.
"No. I live in a different part of town."
"Yes, I'd heard you'd moved." Say something. "How've you been, Anne?"
"Just fine. Works been pretty busy. What about you?"
"I've been assigned to this movie." Frederick's voice dripped with irony.
You weren't here for me then? "Oh." Stupid girl, why would he be here for you? He obviously didn't expect to see you. "How do you like it?"
"It's been... interesting." Frederick smiled down at her.
Anne laughed at him. "I'll bet. How are you? Sofie said you had a... an accident a few months ago."
Oh, dear Lord, how much does she know? Frederick turned red. "A bit. Nothing too serious."
Anne could tell that he didn't want to talk about it so she let the subject drop even though she wanted to know what had happened to him. She looked around for a quiet place to go to and talk with him when she noticed William walking up with her coat in his arms.
Frederick saw the Anne look around for something and followed her gaze. When he saw William his face grew white. He looked at Anne for reassurance. Is she trying to avoid me? Is being around me so very awkward?
Anne looked up at Frederick apologetically and caught his eye. She wanted to tell him that she would stay if he wanted her to. William reached them and held out the coat for her to slip her arms into. "I'm sorry but I have to get going. I have to be in Santa Monica by two and the freeway is bound to be bumper to bumper in this weather. I told William, he says that it's fine."
Anne turned towards Frederick with regret. "I have to go." Unless you want me to stay. Do you, Frederick? Frederick was silent and grave. Anne sighed. "I guess I'll see you sometime later." This was asked more than stated. She wanted him to declare once and for all what his true feelings were. Her stomach was in an upheaval.
"Yes." Frederick looked away from William and gazed softly into Anne's eyes. "Yes, you will." He looked back up and stared at William with an unmistakable challenge in his eyes. William backed away slightly and waited for Anne to join him. She left slowly, reluctantly, looking back every so often to see if Frederick was still standing there. He was. Anne gave a last smile and left the building.
Frederick watched her walk away with that man, the name still unknown to him, hating himself for not running after her. He couldn't figure Anne out. Was she with this person or did she just need a ride home? He didn't know. He didn't think to ask, his blood was too busy raging for him to think clearly. He should have offered her a ride to give her a chance to get rid of the man if that was what she wanted. Then he realized that he neglected to ask for her number. Frederick slapped himself on the forehead. You dope! She was right here! Now you have to wait around hoping to meet her again. Idiot! Idiot!
A husky voice came from behind him, sending his heart into his throat. "William is certainly getting cozy with Anne Elliot, don't you think?"
Frederick turned around to see who was speaking. It was a hairdresser standing next to some makeup artist, gossiping.
"Yes, it's pretty obvious what will happen." The makeup artist was snapping her gum in little pop pop pops.
"Hmmm, personally, I'm not too sure. I have to admit though; I like Anne better than the other two. I remember when I was really little I used to want to be Elizabeth Elliot. I thought she was the coolest person in the world. Boy was I wrong. Who can account for the tastes of a five year-old though? But Anne, she's got style."
"You're right." The makeup artist nodded her head sagely.
"I don't think that they will end up together."
"Why not, Sue?"
"Did you see the way she looked when she was looking at the Navy guy? Like he was Adonis or something? And then when William walked up it was like ice water was thrown over her head. No, she won't fall for him. At least I hope not. William's a jerk."
Frederick didn't know what to think after this. He was grateful for that last bit of encouragement although he couldn't be so positive. The hairdresser seemed to be pretty sure of herself though. He wondered what her success rate was in predicting the outcomes of two lost souls trying to come together after years of misunderstanding. He smiled a little. An Adonis, huh? Frederick didn't know about that but if that's how Anne wanted to see him then who was he to argue? He hoped it was true. He picked up his duffel bag and left the building. Now he knew the man's name and he promised Anne that they would see each other again. Frederick tested his shoulder as he walked through the puddles in the parking lot. The bone was mostly healed and he was gaining strength rapidly. He was ready. Was Anne?
Anne sat sullenly in the front seat of William's car. Never before did she wish William would shut up for once and let her have some time to think as much as she did now. It was most annoying to her but she managed to tune him out and think of Frederick. She couldn't believe that he was at the set. It seemed unreal, yet there he was. She couldn't believe her luck. Now if only they could be alone for a few minutes, eons would be better, she thought, they could get everything out in the open and things would be resolved at last. Anne however had hope. Frederick was definitely not composed when he saw her. He had a startled deer in headlights look that quickly melted into something warm and soft when he talked to her even of the simplest of things. He acted like he used to act nine years ago, only he wasn't as confident. Anne smiled at the memory then pulled her jacket lapels closer around her neck. The defroster was turned on and William had the cold air blowing out at full blast. Anne was shivering from being soaked and frozen for so long and as predicted, the freeway was a mess. She had to sit and listen to William for forty-five minutes before he pulled up in front off her place. She thanked him politely and opened the car door but before she could escape, William stopped her with the preliminaries of a pretty speech. She waited impatiently until he got to the point, letting the upholstery get wet.
"...And so I would be honored if you'd be my date for the premier next month." William gave his best puppy dog eyes.
Anne hesitated. Frederick might ask her to go. But then, he may not ask and he will probably be there and if you don't accept William then you won't get to see Frederick. Does this make any sense? I'm too tired to think. "All right. Thank you, William." She smiled sweetly at him. You don't know what you're doing for me, William. If you help bring Frederick and me together then I will forgive you the past weeks of your overt hints and silly passes. She slammed the car door and ran to the elevators. William watched her safely in before he backed out and headed for Santa Monica.
Anne reached her apartment and took a long hot shower to warm herself from the chilly car ride. But the thing that warmed her the most was the memory of the way Frederick gazed at her today and she lay down on the couch letting the heat run through her until she fell into a deep sleep, the radio playing softly in the background.
...I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere somewhere
I know you're out there somewhere
Somewhere you can hear my voice
I know I'll find you somehow
Somehow somehow
I know I'll find you somehow
And somehow I'll return again to youYou know it's going to happen
I can feel you getting near
And soon we'll be returning
To the fountains of our youth
And if you wake up wondering
In the darkness I'll be there
My arms will close around you
And protect you with the truth...*
*More Moody Blues for your reading pleasure. :)
Chapter 24
Anne walked down the street looking for inspiration. She passed little boutiques with cute window displays with cute clothes, none of which suited her; they were either too young, too short, too sparkly, too bawdy, too grungy looking, too ugly, too orange... Nothing she looked at seemed to suit her. Perhaps I'm being too fussy, she thought. Shoving her hands in her coat pocket, she turned a corner and walked down a side street, not really paying attention to anymore store windows. She wondered if she should just head to the mall and buy something suitable. No one would really notice her at the party anyway. But, Anne wanted to be noticed, by Frederick.
She reached the end of the street and crossed it. Abruptly she saw a small bay window in a tiny little store before her and a dress on display. It was perfect. It was red. It was amazing. Anne opened the door sending a small windchime jingling to announce her presence. She went straight for the dress and caressed the fabric. It was so soft it felt like peach skin. Anne smiled at it until she looked at the price tag. Her heart stopped in her throat then she swallowed deeply. It cost almost as much as a month's rent, more when you included the sales tax. She bit her lip. It was too bad really, it was a lovely dress.
"May I help you?" The sales lady came out of the backroom that was hidden from the rest of the store by thick dark blue curtains.
"Uh, I was just looking." Anne said hesitantly. She let her hand touch the fabric on last time.
"Oh, yes, that's a lovely dress, isn't it? And we just put it on sale too." Anne's heart sank. "Would you like to try it on?"
She looked at the dress. It would be a waste of time to try it on when you know you can't afford it. "Yes. I would."
The woman smiled and showed Anne to the dressing room. Anne slowly unbuttoned her blouse as she did some quick calculations in her head. She got her shirt off and then sat down and pulled her checkbook out of her purse. She had enough money in her savings account. Barely. Anne swallowed. She finished getting undressed.
It would be stupid, so completely stupid to buy this dress. How would I pay my rent? She'd have to ask her father for the money and she hated that idea. Maybe I could have a yard sale? There's a lot of junk that I need to get rid of. Anne shook as she put her checkbook away. I can't buy it. I'll just have it copied by someone.
The saleslady knocked on the door softly and passed the dress to Anne, folds and folds of dark red fabric draped over her arm. It looked so luxurious. Anne took the dress from the lady and slipped it on over her head putting her arms through the slips of sleeves. The rich fabric fell to the floor with a shwoosh, hugging her body exactly where it should and ended gracefully around her feet. The thin bands that passed for sleeves was just off her shoulders. Anne tested; she could move her arms enough. She zipped up the side and then turned to look in the mirror and smiled when she saw herself. She had to have this dress. It was made for her. She would be buried in it but it was impossible for her to not buy it. I'll charge it. If I skip lunch and eat ramen noodles for dinner for the next six months I could pull it off. She looked down at her feet, which were hidden by the fabric of the dress. It was just as well since she wouldn't be able to afford shoes to go with it. She could wear sneakers and no one would even know. She stood on her tiptoes and admired the effect. Who cared about rent?
Once she got started, she was on a roll. She stopped by the shoe store and picked up a pair of strappy silver shoes that tied in the back and no one would ever see underneath all that material. Then she walked into an accessory store and got a pair of long white gloves. She had her arsenal now; all she had to do was prepare for the battle.
Anne felt indulgent as she got ready, an hour earlier than necessary but she was too excited to wait. She started with a long soak in the bathtub; her already washed hair wrapped in a towel. She used rose scented crystals in the water and stayed in for a half an hour replenishing the hot water twice before she got out, water droplets running down her body and dripping in little pools on the floor as she stepped away. She wrapped a soft clean towel around her and tucked the corner under to keep in place.
She put on some music and hummed to herself as she smoothed lotion onto her legs and shoulders.
Got brass in pocket
Got bottle.
IIII'm gonna use it!
Intention.
I feel inventive!
Gonna make you... make you... make you notice!
Anne slipped on her stockings one at a time and hooked them onto the garter straps.
Got motion
Restrained emotion
Been drivin', Dee-troit leanin'
No reason. Just seems so pleasin'!
Gonna make you... make you... make you notice!
Then she took off the towel and shook out her hair using her fingers to comb through the strands. She flipped her hair over and twisted it into a loose French twist, securing it with a couple of silver combs. She let a few tendrils loose, they brushed her shoulders softly, tickling her.
Gonna use my arms
Gonna use my legs
Gonna use my style
Gonna use my sidestep
Gonna use my fingers
Gonna use my... my...my imagination
She lightly spritzed perfume onto her neck, wrists and hair. Then she thought for a moment and sprayed her belly. She smiled as she replaced the cap and set the bottle down on the dresser. Her stomach started getting little butterfly tremblings.
Ohh oh 'Cause I!
Gonna make you see.
There's nobody else here.
No one like me.
I'm special.
Soo special.
I gotta have some of your
Attention! Giiiive it to me-ee!Whoa whoa-oa
Anne took a deep breath to calm herself. Re-laaax, she thought. Everything will be all right. Frederick will be there and you'll talk to him. Tell him how you feel. But first you have to get ready. She deftly applied her makeup and then slipped herself into the gown and zipped it up. Sitting down on her bed, she pulled on her shoes and tied the straps in small bows. Her toes peeked out from under the dress just enough. She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. Wow. Anne was surprised at how different she looked. She wondered if it was the right thing to do, to dress up like a Barbie doll trying to impress someone you loved. Then she shrugged it off. She looked fabulous and she knew it. Now all she had to do was to wait for William to show up.
Anne went into the living room and sat down on the couch gingerly so as not to wrinkle her dress and switched on the TV. She went to the E! channel to see what the coverage was like at the premier. There were crowds of people lined up outside already and Joan Rivers was interviewing someone, asking about their clothing designer. Anne quickly changed the channel. She hoped she didn't have to go through anything like that. William was a only an agent and she didn't get any press time for being Walter's daughter so they should leave her alone. But just in case she unzipped the dress and felt for the dress's tag. She twisted around but couldn't read it. Anne sighed, it didn't matter and no one would ask her anyway. She zipped back up and watched the old movie channel that was showing the original Mister Roberts as a special for the night.
A knock on the door roused her out of her reverie and she went to the door with a sinking feeling. She didn't want to see William tonight and she felt bad for using him this way but justified it by telling herself that he probably wouldn't care. She opened the door and William stood there in his black tuxedo with a suave smile on his face and a bottle of wine in his hands.
"Anne... I can't tell you how wonderful you look." Walter's eyes lit up when he saw her.
"Thank you, William. Would you like to come in for a minute before we go?" Anne stepped back and let William into her apartment.
"That would be nice. I brought some wine to celebrate."
Anne took the bottle from him and went into the kitchen to pour. "That's sweet of you. Please sit down." Anne turned the TV off with the remote control and turned the radio back on. The song that came on made Anne smile.
My boyfriend's back and you're gonna be in trouble.
Hey lai, hey lai, my boyfriend's back.
You've been spreading lies that were untrue.
Hey Lai, hey lai, my boyfriend's back.What made you think he'd believe all your lies?
Waaooo. Waaooo.
You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size.
Waaooo. Wait and see!My boyfriend's back, he's gonna save my reputation.
Hey Lai, hey lai, my boyfriend's back.
You're gonna be sorry you were ever born.
Hey Lai, hey lai, my boyfriend's back.
William leaned back and lay his arm across the back of the couch, his fingers tapping in time to the music. He adjusted his bow tie and looked around. He saw traces of Anne's preparations lying around. Some nail polish bottles on the dinette table, a tag for something that had fallen to the floor when she threw out some trash. William smiled to himself. All this was for him. He felt that it was only a matter of time until she succumbed to him and he could ask her to marry him. This evening at the premier would be sort of a test run. He'll see how she handled it and then make his final decision later.
"Here we are." Anne came out of the kitchen holding two glasses of wine. She handed William one and sat down in the chair opposite him. She sipped the wine and then put it down, she needed a clear head tonight.
William looked at her, desire written in his eyes. "You really do look lovely, Anne. I've never seen you look more beautiful."
Anne blushed slightly, she felt guilty. William thought that she was getting ready for him when she really only wanted to see Frederick. She answered him as nicely as she could but felt uncomfortable. And before much longer, it was time to go. Anne was grateful, she could no longer stand the uneasy silence that was constantly present. William placed her wrap around her shoulders. Anne suddenly remembered that she forgot to put on deodorant but it was too late now. She pulled on her gloves then put her hand on William's proffered arm and they left, Anne slipped the key into her small clutch bag and they went downstairs to the waiting limo.
*'Brass in Pocket' by the Pretenders and 'My Boyfriend's Back' by the Angels
Chapter 25
Frederick pulled his car up and waited in line for a valet. He would not drive up to the entrance, he was not expected to. That was reserved only for the stars and celebrities that were to show up for the evening's event. He waited for five minutes until a panting sweaty valet was available. He took his hat and his invitation and walked towards the red carpet. There was a blue and gold awning, the Navy's colors, stretched out overhead. People were lined up against barricades straining their necks to see someone remotely famous. Frederick was able to pass by mostly unnoticed. Flashbulbs popped from everywhere and he could hear the cry of voices rise in anticipation as a long black limo pulled up to the curb. Frederick ignored it, he'd met all the stars from the movie, they were nice, polite, but he wasn't going to join the screaming throng of teenagers and autograph hounds. He saw an admiral and his guest walking from the other direction. Frederick saluted and held the door open. The Navy was wild about this movie. They were desperate for good press time and this was their baby for the time being.
Frederick showed his invitation and pass to a security guard inside the door and he was allowed entrance. He saw several people he knew but he didn't feel much like socializing.
His eyes swept across the room looking for... he knew not what. There wasn't anyone he really wanted to talk to. He wandered around then headed towards a spot that would keep him away from the swarm of people that crowded towards the center of the room. He grabbed a glass champagne on the way and sipped as he walked, raising his arm as high as it would go, which wasn't very far; his uniform was so constricting. He sipped and left the glass on a small table. There wasn't much point in being here really, it was his appointed place of duty but he figured he could get away with staying only about an hour. He fingered the stiff upright collar trying to loosen it a bit, which never worked.
Then he saw her, just a fleeting glimpse, so abrupt that at first he thought he was mistaken; then a gap in the crowd revealed her fully to him. It was Anne. She was breathtaking. She was so beautiful that his heart thumped painfully. He reached up and massaged his chest trying to relieve the ache. Her velvet wrap hung loosely around her elbows, gracefully accenting her dress and the way it clung to her body. She was standing alone holding a small silver bag in her hand. She was looking around for someone. He could see the curve of the back of her neck as she peered this way and that. Frederick wondered if she was here with her father. He glanced around briefly, not wanting to take his eyes from her for any longer than necessary. Her earrings swayed with each tiny movement that she made. Then she turned her head and saw him.
Anne's eyes lit up. She turned towards him and let her eyes wander over him for a moment as he stood there. She'd never seen him in uniform before, at most she'd seen a photo from his OCS days at Sofie's house but a flat picture was nothing compared to the man standing before her. He was so handsome. Her heart kathunked at the sight of him and butterflies swirled in her stomach, making her shiver. She wondered how long he'd been staring at her with that raw animal look that made her feel like a small rabbit, waiting for him to pounce. She took a tighter grip on her purse and steadily met his gaze hoping that he couldn't see how nervous she was. Her insides wanted to melt but she forced herself to stand upright for at least two minutes, for that was how long she figured it would take her to walk across the room to him.
I miss the way you used to hold me.
The tender way we used to kiss... Ooooo yeah
I miss the waaaay that you touched me.
I miss the sweet taste of your lips.
She smiled. Frederick turned slightly wanting to collect his thoughts. She's here, now do something about it! He wanted to rush to her but his anxiety kept him rooted to the spot. A slight movement from Anne caught his attention. She's coming over Frederick tugged at his jacket to straighten it out.
I was a fool to ever leave you.
You were a fool to let me go.
I've been so lonesome here without you
Oh how I miss you so.
Anne never hesitated. She put one foot forward and the rest just happened so naturally. She lost sight of him twice when some tipsy starlets stumbled by, then they passed and she saw Frederick again. She kept going, evading the elbows and feet of people left and right.
It hurt! It hurt! It hurts so baa-aad!
You were the best man I ever had.
Why was I so blind to seeeee?
Now that biggest fool is me.
Frederick waited anxiously, damning himself for not meeting her at least halfway. She was so beautiful. He swallowed hard as she came closer. She was only about ten feet away when he lost sight of her in the crush of the crowd. He waited to see if she would emerge.
Someone standing near Frederick asked him the time. He glanced at his watch tearing his eyes away from Anne for a fraction of a second, "Ten after nine." He looked up again and there she was. She was standing close, due to the throng of people mingling their way to the bar. Someone shoved by, pushing her against Frederick and he quickly reached out and caught her arms to keep her from falling. She put her hands up to steady herself, the stiff fabric of his uniform scratched the soft fabric of her gloves. She waited to catch her breath before straightening up. The pounding of his heart beating rapidly against her hand gave her the courage to look up into his eyes.
I was a fool to ever leave you.
You were a fool to let me go.
(Why did you let me go?)
I've been so lonesome here without you
Oh how I miss you soooooo!*
Frederick was gazing down at her, smiling in an intimate way that Anne knew too well and made her knees go weak. His hands slowly released their grip her shoulders and softly slid down her arms. He didn't want to let her go but he knew that to hold her too long would be wrong and he didn't want Anne to be embarrassed no matter how much he wanted to grab her like a caveman and drag her out of the room. "Hello, Anne." His deep voice rumbled her name tenderly.
"Hello." Anne was breathless. She bit her lip trying to think of something to say. It was simply impossible to look away from his gray eyes. A girl could lose herself looking in his eyes. "I thought you might be here."
Frederick's delight showed in his eyes. Is that why you came? To see me? "I had to make a token appearance tonight." Nice. You sound like her father. "I'm glad I came... now." Better.
Anne's heart skipped a beat as his words filled her soul. She felt flustered and a bit tipsy. Inhaling the scent of his cologne deeply, she glanced at the rows of decorations he wore on his jacket. She wondered what each one was for. She saw a Gulf War ribbon in the cluster and realized that there was so much about him that she didn't know. She glanced back up at him and then averted her gaze. He'd had so many experiences that she wasn't there to share with him. She'd forfeited that right over nine years ago. Anne felt tears threaten to fall so she looked at his shoes to compose herself. They were so shiny she could see tiny reflections of herself in them.
Frederick tried to look at her face but she kept it away from him. He wanted her to look up at him. He needed to see what was in her eyes. Was it love that he saw there or was it just friendship? He softly touched her cheek with a finger. Anne lifted her face to him. "I tried to call you when I was at sea but your number had been changed."
Anne's face showed her surprise. "I didn't know. I moved a few months ago... I..." Anne smiled. "I wish I'd been there."
"Me too. I heard the news about Lori and James. Now there's something I didn't expect to hear."
Why? Was there more to you and Lori? Were you in love with her? Anne looked away and stared at a fichus tree sitting in a blue painted pot in the corner. The trunks were braided together, entwined. "Yes, we were all surprised at first but then, they seem to truly love one another. I'm happy for them."
"It is fortunate indeed that they found each other when they did. One thing that is in their favor is that her family likes him so much. But the Musgroves are behaving like they always do, anxious to promote their daughter's happiness. It would be disturbing to them if objections were made..." Frederick realize what he was leading to and stopped his sentence short. He cleared his throat uneasily.
"Yes. It would," was Anne's short reply. Frederick wanted to kick himself. Why not go ahead and put your other foot in your mouth you idiot? Anne pulled her wrap around her shoulders, covering them. Frederick forged on ahead, not really knowing what he was saying. "I was surprised at James though. He was so much in love with Francine. She was completely different from Lori in every way. You would have liked her."
"I should have liked to have met her. But, I have to say for Lori's sake that she's grown up in the last year. And they seem to be perfect for each other."
"I have no doubt of it, I was just surprised at first. Francine was an excellent person. A man does not recover easily from the love and devotion of a woman like Francine. He ought not. He does not. I..." Frederick's voice trailed off as he saw William Elliot snaking his way thought the crowd towards them. He suddenly realized that Anne was here with him and not her father like he'd assumed. Anne saw his face harden and turned to see what he could have been looking at. Frederick did not see the disappointment in her eyes when she saw William, he only heard her greet him in a friendly manner.
William took possession of Anne's arm and patted it benignly. "Well, I see you do know someone besides me, Anne. May I have the honor? We didn't get proper introductions the last time we saw each other."
Anne quickly introduced them wishing William would go away. She was desperate to know what Frederick was going to say before he showed up. She looked at Frederick. His eyes were black with animosity. "I've seen you before that, Mr. Elliot."
"Yes, at the beach was it? When your girlfriend had that nasty fall." Both Anne and Frederick stiffened at this. She'd never told him that Lori was Frederick's girlfriend. Frederick wondered if Anne told him that or if he was repeating family gossip and Anne wondered where William got his information.
Frederick's voice was tight. "The day before I believe. Tell me, Mr. Elliot, are you a relation of Anne's?" Uncle. Say 'I'm an uncle'.
"No. I don't have that honor as of yet." Anne gasped and colored furiously. "I'm from England, Commander. I guess you could say that our having the same last name is purely a coincidence. A happy coincidence, at least, I regard it as such. I hope Anne thinks so too." He wrapped his arm around Anne's shoulder possessively. Anne's eyes widened in shock then flew to Frederick who looked like he was going to explode. She shrugged out of William's grasp and started to speak but William drowned her out. "I am her father's agent." William flipped a business card from out of nowhere it seemed and handed it to Frederick who, wordlessly, took it from him. He glanced at the raised letters proclaiming William W. Elliot to be a licensed agent to the stars and listed his home number, his office number, his fax machine number, his cell phone number, his car phone number and his web page URL underneath which was his email address. Frederick lowered his hand and tightened it into a fist, crushing the scrap of paper. He wanted to shove his fist straight through William W. Elliot's face but restrained himself as there were too many witnesses. Besides, it would lower Anne's opinion of him and God knows it was low enough already. He looked at William, imagining all sorts of things that could be done to him if only they were alone and he had a pair of pliers.
Anne tried to get him to look at her but Frederick steadily avoided her gaze. She was shaking with rage at William's statement. How dare he say something like that? What on Earth was he trying to prove? William seemed oblivious to the conflict going on between his date and this sailor standing in front of him. He droned endlessly dropping names here and there between anecdotes of parties and dropping names, never giving Anne a chance to speak.
Then someone announced over the din that the screening would begin and would everyone please take their seats. William guided Anne towards a set of double doors that led into the theatre. She looked back at Frederick hoping that he would follow but she saw him standing where she'd left him, watching her leave, then she lost sight of him as people thronged into the theatre.
Frederick watched her go. It seemed that the way was much clearer for her then when she was coming over to talk to him. He waited until everyone else was in the theatre before he walked in. He stood in the back and searched for Anne. She was sitting in an aisle seat leaning as far from William as she could without sitting on the floor. William on the other hand was leaning towards her talking about something. Frederick saw her flinch as William smoothed a strand of her hair that was in her face. Frederick started walking towards them. The lights dimmed and the credits ran with the audience politely clapping at every star's name that flashed up on the screen. Frederick rolled his eyes. He reached Anne's seat and quietly asked the gentleman in it to move. Surprisingly he did and Frederick sat down in back of Anne. She did not turn her head, she did not know he was there inches away from her. He leaned back and dared William to touch Anne again so he would have some reason to remove his head from his neck but William was too intent in watching the reactions to the movie. If people were favorably disposed towards his client then he would be able to make a lot of money from him.
Anne was sitting with her arms folded against her chest and staring blankly at the screen. She wanted to walk out so bad but she needed to talk to Frederick first. What if he believed those stupid things that William had said? She was seething. She had to find a way to talk to Frederick. William leaned over and asked her if she was cold. Anne leaned away from him and shook her head but tightened her grip around her arms. Frederick heard William speak and saw Anne hug herself. He took her velvet wrap that was hanging over the seat and placed it gently over her shoulders smoothing the material down. She turned around surprised and looked into a pair of shining gray eyes. She mouthed 'thank you'.
Frederick nodded his head slightly. Anne didn't know what else to do so she hesitantly turned back towards the screen. Frederick looked around to see if he would be disturbing anybody, then decided that he didn't care. He leaned forward and whispered softly into her ear. "Are you enjoying the movie?"
Anne's skin prickled as his warm breath hit her skin. She turned her head, giving him a view of her profile; the light from the screen outlined her face. "They seem to do a good job with it. Personally, I prefer the original. "
"I agree. But then, I always prefer originals. I don't like remakes very much."
Anne blinked several times as she tried to decipher his meaning. Am I a remake or an original? "Yes, I see how you mean. But... sometimes people forget to do something the first time around and later on they try to correct them... if only they get the chance." Anne was now twisted around in her seat and William was starting to get annoyed.
"Darling, you're not paying attention to the film." Anne's head whipped towards the speaker. William patted her arm. "Why don't we invite Commander Wentworth to our place afterwards and you two can catch up there."
Anne gasped out in indignation. "What?" Several people shushed her.
Frederick's blood pounded in his ears and didn't hear her angry reply. He grabbed his hat and stood up. This was too much. She'd moved out months ago to live with this... agent? It was impossible to believe but he didn't know what else to think. Anne didn't refute his statement. Someone behind him whispered furiously for him to sit down. Frederick stepped into the aisle and turned to go.
"Frederick!" Anne's hushed voice called out to him. He stopped and faced her. He couldn't see her face in the shadows but Anne could see his and the sight made her want to cry. "You... you're leaving so soon?"
"Yes, I have to get back to San Diego. I have work tomorrow."
"Isn't the movie worth staying for?" Aren't I worth staying for?
Frederick looked beyond her towards William who was warily eyeing the pair. "No. There is nothing here worth my while. Goodbye." Frederick turned and walked out of the room.
Anne watched him leave with a sinking feeling in her stomach. She picked up her purse and gathered her wrap around her shoulders. William was alarmed, "Where are you going, Anne?" She didn't reply. She got up before he could try to stop her and walked as fast as she could after Frederick. She opened the doors and looked around. All she saw were waiters and waitresses getting ready for the after party. Frederick was nowhere to be seen. She took a guess that he would not leave by the front entrance as there were reporters and cameras waiting and headed towards the kitchen.
The double doors swung out as a waiter carrying a heavy tray laden with hors d'oeuvres came into the main lobby. Someone was yelling out instructions in French. She caught a glimpse of Frederick putting on his hat and walking out the door. Several waitresses looked after him, stunned to see a guest in the kitchen. The doors swung in and Frederick was gone. She pushed the doors with all her might and ran into the hot room. Twice her heels stuck in the thick rubber mat that carpeted the tile floor and she was forced to stop and wrench her shoes out. Running on her toes and ignoring the stares of the staff that noticed her, Anne reached the servant's entrance. There was a rectangular window in the door and she could see that Frederick was long gone. She was too late. She would have to run to catch up to him in the parking lot.
"Anne!"
She turned around at the sound of William's voice but did not speak.
"Anne, darling, what's the matter?" William put his hands on her shoulders and looked concerned.
Anne shrugged him off and slapped his face.
SMACK!
All activity in the kitchen stopped as the staff turned to watch the show that was going on right in front of them. William rubbed his cheek, where a white handprint stood out against his flaming scarlet cheeks.
"How dare you!" Anne hissed. "How dare you even suggest some of the things you said tonight?"
"Darling, I..."
"My name is not Darling. I will never be your darling. I don't ever want to see you again, you churlish..."
William looked shocked
"... self-centered..."
William looked hurt.
"... name dropping..."
William flinched.
"... b******!" William gaped at her. Anne turned around and walked out the servant's entrance to the applause of some of the female waitstaff. She was so mad she was shaking. And Frederick was sure to be gone by now. She was spent; all her energy was gone and she just wanted to go home. She saw a payphone several feet away and dialed the number to the Cab Company that was on a plastic plaque mounted on the wall. She gave them the location number and sat on the steps outside to wait for the car to pull up.
* The Susan Tedeschi Band. An awesome song. :D