In Your Wildest Dreams -- Section II
By Spring
Beginning, Section II, Next Section
Chapter 10
Frederick saw Anne often after that day on the beach. She seemed to be always in the around. Outside of his company but close enough for him to notice her presence. He talked to her as he would any common acquaintance, but he didn't pursue anything more. One thought kept reverberating in his mind: In love. In love. She didn't look like she was in love. She looked like she wanted to speak to him but he didn't give her the chance. He didn't trust himself in an intimate conversation with her.
Frederick thought a lot about what Lori had told him. He tried not to show it at the time, but his stomach had tightened into a knot when he found out that Anne and Charles used to date. Why it would bother him, he didn't know. After all, eight years is a long time. Of course she would date people. He had dated a too. But then, Lori told him that Anne was in love with someone, and the knot in the pit of his stomach turned into a pain. A bellyache that reached up and gripped his heart.
So she loved. It was too much to believe that she loved him. She'd thrown him away long ago. Probably it was her college professor or someone her father didn't approve of. That was why she hasn't brought him to meet her family. It made sense; she'd just learned her lesson with him and moved on. He tried to imagine what the man looked like. Someone with elbow patches on his sleeves and reading glasses. He thought about this man holding Anne and kissing her. His hands clenched.
He walked to the window and looked out. Something deep down nagged at him. It tried to drive its way into his thoughts but he stubbornly pushed it away. He took a deep shuddering breath and swallowed. She loved someone. Finally she found someone good enough to satisfy her. He was happy for her. He was. He was looking for someone to spend his life with too so why did it bother him?
Absentmindedly he rubbed his fingers across the windowsill, searching for dust. His finger snagged on something sharp. He looked at his finger and saw a tiny drop of blood and a sliver of glass. Glass? What was glass doing on the windowsill?
He pulled out the sliver and tossed it into the trash. I think I should spend some time away from here. Harville has been asking me to come for a visit and he's not far. I'll leave tomorrow. Frederick felt better once he made a decision. He went downstairs and joined his family prior to going over to the Musgroves for dinner.
Frederick walked into the house and was greeted by the merry sounds of a piano. He went into the living room where everyone was gathered around the piano. Anne was playing. Mrs. Musgrove just had it tuned and was eager to have her try it out. "For it really is a shame that no one in the house could play it. However, it'd been in the family for so long that I haven't the heart to get rid of it." So Anne played an impromptu concert for the family. She was so intent in the music that at first she didn't notice the addition to the party. But when she caught him out of the corner of her eye her breath caught. She recognized that look. It was the same intense look that he'd given her when he proposed long ago. But he didn't look like he wanted to marry her this time. He looked like he wanted to throttle her. What did I do to make him so angry, Anne thought. Her playing became mechanical as her mind wandered from the music to Frederick.
Frederick did not know the affect his presence had on Anne, he only saw a woman playing the piano just as skillfully as she'd once played him. He turned and sat down next to Lori. Conversation was at a minimum due to Anne's concert, and Frederick didn't feel like sitting still. He asked Lori if she wanted to dance. Surprised at his offer and tickled by the novelty of it, she agreed and they were off prancing around the living room. Soon everyone that could make a couple joined them.
Anne was amused in spite of herself. Frederick was no dancer, never was. Anything beyond the basic one… two… three and step and he was lost. Anne felt impish. She changed the tune to a fast waltz, watched as Frederick barely recovered from the change, then quickly moved to a jitterbug. Frederick stumbled. Anne smiled to herself then changed the tempo to a slow song to give him a rest. She silently sang the words to herself as her fingers ran over the keyboard.
Frederick relaxed after Anne got over her whirlwind tour of the modern music era and pulled Lori closer to him. Was Anne going nuts or just displaying her musical talents. He didn't know. He was just glad it was over and she'd finally picked a song. He wondered if it was her lover's favorite song before he recognized the tune. Anne used to sing it to him. He tightened his arms around Lori unconsciously and felt her respond. He looked down at her and smiled gratefully. She was always such a good sport.
Anne saw his smile and blanched. Frederick had his hand on the small of Lori's back the way he used to hold her. Then she noticed what she was playing and abruptly stopped.
Frederick stopped dancing and looked at Anne. Her cheeks were flushed. She was shuffling through the music sheets that were placed on the piano. She found a song that pleased her and started. She played lightly and for her own pleasure. The dancers sat down and started talking amongst themselves, pausing every so often to listen.
"Frederick, I wanted to ask you if you knew our son, Richard. I heard from Lori that you used to be on the Laconia. Richard was a sailor on the ship too." Mrs. Musgrove spoke reverently of her son Richard, and Frederick was inclined to think the boy a saint until the name hit him. Richard Musgrove! Of course! Now he knew where he'd heard the name before. Dick Musgrove was the laziest, stupidest person he'd ever come across, who shot himself while playing quick draw with his pistol*. The only one worse that had been under his immediate command was George Wickham. Frederick tried to think of something nice to say about the boy and managed to tell her a story about her son that wasn't embarrassing or rude. Mrs. Musgrove thanked him from the bottom of her heart and went on to tell what a sweet boy he'd been in his youth. Her voice trailed off into silence. She missed her youngest son dearly. Frederick hid his amusement at this description of Dick Musgrove well and looked away. Anne was staring at him. She motioned with her eyes towards Mrs. Musgrove and mouthed 'thank you'. Frederick nodded.
Lori asked Frederick many questions about life on board ship and the various ports he'd been too. Frederick captivated his audience with humourous stories about the sailors he knew (minus one Dick Musgrove, of course). Anne had stopped playing by this time to hear him better. She'd always wanted to hear these stories. She'd subscribed to the Navy Times and followed his career through the promotion and medal announcements, but the papers never mentioned any details beyond So and So was promoted to such and such rank, or this person was awarded a medal for outstanding conduct.
Frederick told some of the things that had happened when he was in the Gulf War, holding Lori and Anne spellbound. Lori at least, could be open about it, but Anne had to hide her tremblings and flutterings to herself. She thought of all the times she'd watched the news hoping for a glimpse of her Frederick, wondering if he was all right or if he was hurt. Anne looked at Frederick, remembering waiting for some word from him telling her that he was safe and out of harm's way. But word never came and afterwards she felt ridiculous for expecting it.
Lori became playful. "Do you have any tattoos?"
Frederick smiled and gave her an amused look. "No, I don't have any. Why do you ask?"
"I thought every sailor had one."
"Oh sure, tattoos and a girl in every port, eh there, Frederick?" Charles slapped him on the back jovially.
Frederick kept his mouth shut. He could feel two sets of eyes bearing down on him. He knew that one set belonged to Anne, but he was surprised to see Lori looking at him intently, both of them waiting for a denial. An idea started to form about Lori that didn't sit well with him.
Frederick decided it was time to leave. He stood up and said his good-byes. He was determined to visit his friends tomorrow, hopefully giving him time to think about what his next move should be.
*That really happened.
Chapter 11
Frederick was gone before breakfast. He needed to get away before he did something stupid. Still he couldn't shake off that look that he'd gotten from Lori. Was it possible that she liked him that way? Frederick knew that it was possible but he didn't think it was probable, after all, he was at least ten years older than she was, why would she want him?
Frederick pulled into the Harville's parking lot at nine. He grabbed the duffel bag that he'd packed and went into their store. A tall woman came out of the store wiping her hands on a towel. "Freddie!!"
Frederick swept her up in a bear hug.
It was afternoon when Lori reported Frederick missing. She couldn't explain it at all. He didn't say anything about leaving to her. Sofie had only told her that Frederick went to visit some friends down the coast and that was it. Lori was hurt that he didn't tell her, but then remembered that exchanging a few glances and one simple dance didn't mean that they were engaged, so she tried to shrug it off.
Anne was relieved that he left. He was getting under her skin. Sooner or later something was going to happen to make everything erupt into a nightmare.
Frederick came back a couple of days later with two days growth on his face and a wide smile. He did some thinking while he was gone, about Lori and himself and his general attitude. He came to the conclusion that no matter how flattering Lori's affections were, if indeed she did have a crush on him, he could never return them. He liked her but she didn't fit his description of what he looked for in a woman. He talked about it once to his sister when his visit started. Smart, kind, affectionate, and a strong mind were his general attributes to this fictional woman. In his mind he added soft honey-coloured hair and a smile that could light up his heart. Add to that a certain sense of vulnerability that made him want to wrap his arms around her and hold her forever. Frederick had one particular woman in mind but he didn't tell Sofie who it was. That was a dream that ended long ago. Frederick would have to settle for someone else.
He'd had a good time visiting his old shipmates and told so much about the beauty of the surrounding area that soon Lori was wild to go too. Then Charles admitted that he too would like to go and possibly do some scuba diving. The idea caught on and snowballed from there.
Frederick didn't need very long to be persuaded that bringing an unknown group of people to descend on his unsuspecting friend's tiny shop was a good idea. He knew the Harville's, they considered him family, so he made plans for everyone to go down the next weekend. Frederick's last weekend before his leave ended.
Charles drove Mary and Anne in his car and Frederick took Lori and Helen. The caravan drove for two hours until Frederick pulled up in front of a small dive and fishing tackle shop close to the beach. A flagpole was planted in a small section of grass, the only grass on the beach, with a flag of the United States on top, the Navy's flag underneath, and a PADI flag at the bottom. They flapped in the breeze sounding like wings pounding the air. A man with was sitting in a chair out front, whittling; he had a cane with him. He stood up and walked over to Frederick to meet his friends. The introductions were made and everyone proceeded into the store.
The inside of the shop was well lit and packed full of equipment and gadgets. Mrs. Harville came out from the back room and immediately made everyone feel quite at home. Anne felt herself drawn to these people. They would have been her friends had circumstances been different. She was interested in seeing how Frederick socialized with his own circle of friends. There was a certain camaraderie that she'd never seen with the Musgroves. She smiled at the familiarity that Mrs. Harville took with him. Indeed, she seemed used to having her own way with him, so much so that before they were there ten minutes she had Frederick put to work in the back room, helping to store the dive tanks. Anne watched as Frederick made the plans for tomorrow.
"Where's Benwick? Why isn't he here to do this?" Frederick asked as he lifted an empty tank onto his shoulder.
"He's out with a group. He'll be back around two or so." Harville, being medically discharged from the Navy due to an injured knee, pulled rank and 'supervised' Frederick. He stood in a corner leaning against the wall with his arms folded. His cane was propped up next to him.
"Got any plans for tomorrow?" Frederick was starting to sweat in the hot room.
"No. Are you making some?"
"Yeah, we wanted to get some diving in if you're not busy." Frederick took off his shirt and tossed it aside. His dog tags hung down his back accentuating the deep V that his muscles made.
"Beach or boat?" He hobbled out of Frederick's way.
"Boat if you can manage it." Frederick tied several tanks together.
"We don't charter boats but a buddy of mine does. You can rent it with a captain or he'll let you take it out on your own. He's very particular though, he'll only let someone do that who knows what he's doing. Do you think you can handle the responsibility?" Harville's eyes twinkled with merriment as Frederick gave him an 'Oh please' look. Anne laughed silently to herself.
"I think I know how to handle a boat, thank you very much." Frederick stretched his back. "Start out early in the morning?" Harville nodded. "I'll go see about that boat then. Try not to scare my friends while I'm gone, you pirate." Frederick bent over and picked up his shirt. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a blur as someone left the room. He didn't remember anyone else being in there.
That afternoon was spent wandering around the beach. Anne stayed behind to help get the gear in order for the next day's dive and to get to know Mrs. Harville better. Benwick wandered in after two just like Harville said. He was quiet, barely acknowledged Anne's presence until Mrs. Harville introduced them, then he was more receptive to talking, but not much. When they were finished, the three of them went outside to wait for the others to return from their walk. The view was lovely and expansive; the shop was right on the beach within walking distance to a small fishing pier jutting out to sea. Anne was invited to sit down while Mrs. Harville went upstairs to get some refreshments. They lived in the apartment on top of their store. It was crowded but they didn't wish for anything more.
Benwick, finding himself alone with Anne, made a valiant effort at conversation. Anne understood that he was shy so didn't pressure him with lots of prying questions. He was shy but not reserved, Anne soon drew him out of his shell by the simple art of listening.
Benwick soon felt comfortable with Anne and told her about his situation with the Harvilles. He had been the executive officer on the ship Harville commanded and as a natural friendship arose, he spent a lot of time with his family. It wasn't long before he was been engaged to Captain Harville's younger sister, Francine. They only waited until his contract with the Navy ended because they didn't want to be separated once they were married. Benwick's tour ended six months ago, however, the wedding never took place. He was overseas when it happened. Francine was killed in a car wreck. He tried desperately, but he wasn't granted permission to leave his duty station to go to her funeral that was halfway around the world. Fiancées weren't considered family and there was no way he could leave. He never forgave himself for not marrying Francine when he had the chance to. If they had been married she would have been overseas with him instead of in that car. As it was he wasn't even allowed to say good-bye to her.
She understood what Benwick was feeling. She knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, it happened with her mother and then with Frederick. But she had the comfort of knowing that Frederick was still alive and well, while Francine Harville was gone forever. Anne felt for him and perhaps he sensed this. He told her how Frederick had been his lifeline at the time. "I owe him my life. He kept me alive when all I wanted to do was to die. He stayed with me until I could be reasoned with and never left my side. I remember him telling me that I was fortunate in having Francine's love while I did. He said that that was more than most people had in their lives. That it was an exquisite feeling to know that you were loved in return. He told me, 'Remember her, cherish her and she will always be with you.'
"Frederick told you that?" Anne whispered. Her heart was racing.
"Yes. It took me a while before I would listen, but he eventually got through to me. I'm glad he did. Francine would have wanted me to go on with my life, I know it." Benwick looked at Anne's face. "You know I've been trying to remember where I've seen you before. I seem to remember a general inspection one year and a picture of a girl up in Frederick's locker. You look like that girl, only not as laughing. He never told me who it was. I think he was speaking from the heart when he said that it was important to know that you're loved back."
Mrs. Harville came back with sandwiches and drinks. Anne thanked her but couldn't attend to what was being said. Her mind was busy absorbing what Benwick told her. She wasn't paying much attention so she was surprised when she found that she was part of a larger group than she'd thought. Frederick and Lori and Charles and Mary and Helen came back and were hungry. Poor Mrs. Harville was back upstairs to make more sandwiches for Frederick's friends. She turned down Anne's offer to help saying that it was impossible to get more than one person in their tiny kitchen anyway.
Anne got up and from her seat. She needed to think without any interruptions from Mary. Seeing a sandy boardwalk nearby with quaint shops on it, Anne announced her intentions of taking a walk. Benwick got up and offered to accompany her. Anne started to decline but Frederick seconded Benwick's offer. Lori was going wherever Frederick went and declared that she wanted to buy some postcards. Before she knew it, Anne had an entourage. She figured that she could be just as silent with a crowd than if she were alone so she didn't make a point of it.
Lori found a cute little shop that sold nautical items and whatnots. Frederick opened the door and immediately someone walked out of the store, almost bumping into him. The gentleman nodded his thanks then paused for a second when he saw Anne. He gave her such a look of admiration that Anne could not be insensible of it. She smiled shyly at him as he walked by. Lori and Benwick went inside. Frederick held the door open for Anne and gazed at her as she walked by. His eyes told her that the stranger was right in his partiality for her, and he, at least, still found her attractive. Anne felt her heart skip a beat under Frederick's gaze. She wanted to go out and kiss that man, whoever he was, for causing this small chain reaction.
At the end of the evening, Anne lay in her bed at the hotel room thinking about the day's events in general. The Harvilles were nice people and they took such good care of their friends. She was proud to know them. If only for a little while. Anne turned over. She felt the look that Frederick had given her deep down inside of her. It was amazing just how far one small gesture can go. For the rest of the day Anne felt positively beautiful which was reflected from her so that everyone else thought so too. They'd seen the mysterious man once more that day. He was leaving the same hotel that they were checking into. He remembered Anne and Frederick remembered him. Frederick asked the clerk who the gentleman was but the clerk wouldn't give out that information. So Frederick snuck a look at the car as the man was driving away. The license plate read Elliot.
Chapter 12
Frederick rose at 5:30 and quickly got dressed. He went out into the hallway and knocked on everyone's door to get them up. He paused at Anne's door. She was the only one beside himself that had their own room. He rapped on her door. Anne opened it.
"Time to get up." Frederick said lamely. Anne opened the door further to show that she was already dressed.
"I'll see about getting lunch ready for this afternoon. Have you been by Mary's room yet?" Frederick nodded. "You might want to knock again, she hates getting up this early." Anne got her key and closed her door. She walked beside Frederick halfway down the hall until they got to the elevator. "I'll meet you at the dock, then." Anne pushed the button and counted the seconds until the doors opened. Frederick turned away and walked back to his room.
Down at the docks, Benwick was filling up the tanks. He looked up at the lightening sky and noted with some satisfaction that it was clear and calm. No sight of rain at all. Looks like it will be a perfect day. He loaded the gear into the truck and drove down to the docks.
Anne waited in the shade with Mary for the others to return. The gentle rocking of the boat lulled her into a dreamy state, so she was startled when first one flipper then the other flopped onto the deck with a loud thunk. She looked at her watch and saw that thirty minutes had passed and the first dive was over. She shook Mary awake and they got out lunch for everyone.
Charles' head popped up over the railing. "Mary! Anne! You should have been down there with us! It was great! Charles climbed up and over into the boat and took off his BCD and tank. He set it down carefully before finding his towel. He talked non-stop as he helped the other divers with their gear as they climbed up the ladder. "And we saw a shark. Just a small reef shark but, Mary, it was beautiful. And tons of fish. I'm starved. Is that lunch? Great. He sat down next to Mary and tried to kiss her but she pushed him off. He was dripping water everywhere.
Anne sat quietly with Benwick. He was calculating the next dive. Frederick sat at a respectable distance from Lori and Helen and unwrapped his sandwich. It was corned beef, exactly the way he liked it. He glanced at Anne but she was busy recording the dive in everyone's logbooks. Frederick took a bite and chewed. Anne knew exactly what he liked. Frederick finally caught her eye and he nodded his head in thanks. She looked blankly at him at first then shrugged her shoulders as if to say, "It was nothing."
Lunch ended an hour later and everyone suited up for the second dive. Charles and Helen were diving together. They went down first and were gone within seconds. Frederick, Lori and Benwick picked a different spot to explore. Anne helped Benwick with his BCD and checked his gauges for him while Frederick and Lori helped each other. Frederick couldn't help but notice that Lori seemed giddy. He wondered if she was fit to dive when she started flopping around in her fins. He knew she was acting foolish, but he supposed that was the point. She was a carefree girl and that was her most charming attribute, but waddling around with an eighty-cubit foot tank strapped to your back should be done very carefully. Especially when you're on a boat that liked to list and lean with every passing wave.
"Lori, honey, why don't you just go on in. I'm right behind you." Frederick thought that she would be safer in the water than clowning around on deck and he didn't notice the endearment he used. He only noticed that Lori smiled and nodded her head. She got down on the stern platform and cupping her hands together she dove headfirst into the ocean. Her hands spliced through a wave, which rose up to meet her. The weight of the tank rushed down onto the back of her head. The force of both wave and gravity combined driving her head back into the dive tank and a sickening crack was heard.
"NO!!" Anne and Frederick cried out together as Lori started her dive. Frederick waited for two seconds for Lori to come back up then jumped in after her. Anne got down on her knees and peered into the water trying to catch a glimpse of Lori. What was she thinking? Where is she?
Mary was unaware to the danger that her sister-in-law was in. She sat back in the shade flipping through her magazine and waited for Anne to come back and sit with her. But Anne still knelt on the platform, water lapping at her knees and hands, waiting. Benwick had already radioed to the Coast Guard for he knew that medical attention would be needed. He gave the coordinates and now the only thing left to do was wait for the MedEvac to show up.
Finally, Anne could see bubbles floating to the surface. Please be them, Please, G-d. Please let her be all right. First fingers, then a hand, then the length of Frederick's arm came into sight. A snorkel tip broke the surface to the water and bit by bit Frederick's head came up. Then Lori's head broke surface. She was unconscious. Anne cried out when she saw the blood that coloured the water around her face. Her facemask was missing and her regulator was casually bobbing up and down as if it had nothing better to do.
Benwick jumped in to help Frederick. "I dumped her weight belt. She let all the air out of her BCD. I think she swallowed some water too." Frederick held Lori's head above water as Anne helped pulled Lori's limp body up onto the platform. There was blood everywhere.
"What's going on, Anne?" Mary's voice drawled sleepily.
Anne let her face show her disbelief at Mary's question but quickly thought it was better for Mary to be out of the way. "Everything is under control, Mary, just stay there." She tried to get Mary to turn around but that only proved to excite her curiosity.
"Oh my G-d! What happened?" Mary shrieked. Frederick was pumping water out of Lori's lungs.
"Mary, calm down! Lori had an accident but she'll be all right. She'll be fine, but we need to be calm! She won't be well if we all start getting hysterical. Do you understand?" Anne's voice was firm. Mary held her hand to her mouth and shook as she watched Benwick starting resuscitation. "Thank you. Why don't you sit down and look out for the Coast Guard for us. That would be very helpful." Mary nodded her head and sat where Anne pointed. She kept her eyes resolutely on the water, not looking at where Lori was. She couldn't help it; she couldn't stand the sight of blood.
Anne got all the towels she could find and covered up Lori's limp body. Benwick climbed up and tried to stop the bleeding with his hand. Frederick numbly climbed out of the water, never taking his eyes off of Lori's face. She was pale but breathing. He held her hand.
Charles and Helen were still under water, oblivious to what was going on above.
Chapter 13
The thump thump thumping of helicopter blades could be heard from far away. Mary cried out from her lookout position and pointed to an orange CH-46, but they all knew it was there. The water churned up into a bubbling cauldron thrashing a salty spray into their faces. The water was everywhere turning the atmosphere a misty gray. Anne kept Lori as much out of the water as she could. Two medics clad in wetsuits jumped out of the chopper into the ocean. They swam up to the ship and started administering aid. A gurney was lowered and the paramedics strapped Lori in and she was pulled up into the hovering machine. Anne grabbed Lori's dive log that held all of her medical information and ran back to the waiting men. Mary sat in the corner and cried. One of the paramedics asked if someone was going to accompany them. Anne, Frederick and Benwick all volunteered.
"Anne, I can't let you do this. It's my fault." Frederick started towards the sling but Anne checked him.
"Frederick you have to stay here! You're responsible for the boat. Benwick is responsible for the rest of the divers. Charles and Helen would be the best ones to go but they are still down there. Mary won't go without Charles. That leaves me." Anne hollered over the screaming of the helicopter's twin blades. The wind whipped her hair all around her face. Frederick strained to see her eyes.
"But you're afraid of heights! I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you! You're too important!" He grabbed onto her arm. He couldn't let her go when he knew how terrified she would be. She couldn't even ride the Ferris wheel at the fair. The noise was so thick it drowned out his voice, Anne barely heard him.
"I'm not going to argue with you, Frederick! We have no time!" Anne yelled back.
The medic shouted at them. "We need to go now! Someone get on the sling!"
Anne shook off Frederick's restraining hand and quickly sat next to the MedEvac team and hung on for dear life. Suddenly the helicopter started moving up and out over the ocean while the crank pulled them into the berthing area. Anne squeezed her eyes shut, blocking out the images of the speeding gray waves far below her as the helicopter gained altitude. She tried not to notice the movement of the helicopter, first up then down and side to side, giving her a weightless feeling. Finally she was in the cargo area. She let go of her grip and noticed that her nails had bitten into her palms so hard that they were bleeding.
Anne was strapped in a seat and given a helmet. The paramedics asked her questions about Lori that she answered as best as she could from the information from Lori's dive log. She refused to look out the window lest she panic and give the paramedics two patients to worry about. Poor Lori was lying on a stretcher. She was hooked up to an I.V. drip, an oxygen mask held to her face.
Frederick watched her float away until she was out of sight. His last glimpse of her was her shivering huddled figure being pulled into the cargo hold. He knew she was scared out of her wits but he admired her selflessness. There was nothing left for him to do but wait for Charles and Helen to come back up. It should be any minute. He took out his dive knife and started to tap the boat's hull with the hilt. Hopefully, Charles and Helen would hear it soon and come back to the boat. Frederick prayed that they would.
Chapter 14
Charles squeezed past the elevator doors as soon as they opened enough for him to get by. His hair was dripping wet and the flip-flops he was wearing slapped against the beige linoleum as he ran down the hall. Helen, who was pointlessly trying to keep a brave face, quickly followed him. They were only told that Lori had an accident, no one knew the extent her injuries.
Mary lagged behind Frederick and Benwick. Hospitals always scared her, ever since her mother's death years ago. She was just a little girl when it happened, everyone thought it was in her best interest that she didn't know. She was too young to understand what they said. She was only told that Mama was sick and that the hospital would make her better. It didn't make Mama better, it killed her, Mary was sure of it and now she hated hospitals. Mama was healthy looking when she checked in, but after only a few days she began to get really sick. Mary never got over that. They think I can't handle it, Mary thought. And they are right, I was such a mess when poor Charlie broke his arm and I was useless on the boat. But hospitals frighten me, I can't help it. How am I going to help anyone now? Mary knew what her family thought of her, she was weak-minded, she wouldn't understand, she didn't care, so we'll just get her out of the way. Except for Anne. Anne understood. Maybe. She paused outside the room to steel herself. She could hear beeping noises coming from several rooms nearby.
Mary swallowed and stepped slowly into the room that housed her sister-in-law. Charles was kneeling next to her holding her hand. He had his face buried in the white sheets. Mary knew that he was crying. She knelt down next to him and put her hand on his, wanting to comfort him. Charles looked up at her, pools of tears in his eyes. Mary wanted to say something comforting, but what could she say? She said nothing, just held his hand. She dared to look at Lori. She was unconscious; swaths of white bandages covered her head. Mary looked away, she couldn't stand to see her like that, not with tubes and needles sticking out of her, not when she knew how vibrant and carefree was. Is! That person lying in the bed was not Lori.
Anne was standing in the corner next to the window, holding a paper cup and a cookie. She had a bandage on her arm. No one spoke a word. The only sound was the hissing of some strange machine. Frederick looked in at the doorway. He didn't want to disturb anyone. This moment was for family members only and he had no right to intrude. Benwick waited just outside with him. Charles looked up at Frederick and motioned for him to come in. He did so reluctantly, keeping close to the door. He looked at Anne; she was looking out the window.
A doctor came in and brusquely introduced himself. Charles immediately started asking questions about his sister.
The doctor pushed up his glasses. "Your sister is in serious condition, Mr. Musgrove. She sustained injury to her cerebral cortex, that's this part right here." He tapped the spot on his head with his pen. "She has a concussion. We gave her a CAT scan, but we won't fully know the extent of her injuries until she wakes up. Fortunately, her skull wasn't fractured. However, she did have some extensive bleeding and slight swelling, which we've managed to stop. And of course swallowing all that water didn't help her much." He paused to give them time to absorb this.
"What does the this mean, Doctor?" Charles asked quietly.
"Well, it could mean any number of things. It could be that she will wake up with only a gigantic headache or it could mean the loss of her eyesight. The area that was damaged is where the sensory function for vision is located. It may be temporary or it may be permanent. She hasn't had any seizures and that's a good sign." His glasses slipped back down his nose.
Charles paled. "Is she going to be all right?"
The doctor looked at him. "She's going to live." Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "The thing to do is to expect the worst but pray for the best." Charles didn't think that was comforting. The doctor pushed up his glasses once more. "Mr. Musgrove, as next of kin, you're going to need to fill out some forms. If you'd just see the nurse down the hall." The doctor left the room after making some notes on the chart that was in a bin at the door.
Helen spoke first. "Has someone called Mom?"
"Yes, I called just as soon as I knew Lori was… safe." Anne said gently. "They are on their way."
"So there's nothing left for us to do then." Mary said it more as a statement than a question. Mary got up. She had to get out of that room before she embarrassed herself in front of everyone. She briskly walked to the elevator, past the nurse's station, past a man in a wheelchair, past the doctor who didn't recognize her. She hit the down button repeatedly. The little arrow above the door lit up and the doors slid open. Mary slipped in and hit the close button with all her might. She made it outside in time for her stomach to settle down.
Frederick was astonished at Mary's lack of sensitivity but by the look of Anne and Helen's faces, it seemed to be the normal procedure. He tried to back out of the room but was blocked by Charles, who was just about to leave to fill out the forms.
"We need to make plans. Mom and Dad won't be here for another hour at least. Mary needs to get back home to the boys. I'll be staying here. Helen, do you want to go back home with Mary or stay?
Helen looked up. "I… I think I should go home." Charles nodded his agreement. "Anne?"
Startled out of her reverie, Anne looked up at him. "What?"
"Anne should stay here." Startled, Anne and Charles turned towards Frederick and he realized that he'd spoken louder than he intended. He lowered his voice. "There's no one as capable as Anne. You'll stay won't you, Anne?" He looked at her, watching for confirmation. Unable to speak, she nodded her head.
"It's settled then." Charles let his hands drop down at his sides. "I should call the hotel to tell them to hold our rooms." Charles left. Benwick went with him to get some fresh air.
Anne started to feel light-headed from the loss of blood and the events of the day. She looked around for a place to sit but she couldn't focus. Her hands started to shake.
Frederick watched Anne as she tried not to show her weakness. Helen was the only other person in the room, but she was oblivious to everything but her sister. Frederick walked up to her and took a trembling hand. He saw that she had Band-Aids on the palm. "Drink your juice." His voice rumbled deeply. Anne looked up into his eyes. They were penetrating, commanding her to obey. She shakily brought the cup to her lips and sipped. The juice tasted sour. She swallowed. "Drink it all," Frederick spoke softly. Anne tipped the cup back unable to tear her eyes away from him. Frederick watched as she finished. She wiped her lips with the side of her hand. Frederick reached up and plucked the cup from her hand. Her breath grew rapid as Frederick leaned in. She closed her eyes. Yes, Frederick.
"Well, we can keep the rooms." Charles barged back in, breaking the spell that Anne was under. Her eyes flew open, letting out a small gasp. Quickly she backed away from Frederick, turning away from him. She put a hand on her stomach trying to breathe naturally. Frederick crushed the flimsy cup in his fist, mutely wishing it were Charles' neck. He drew in a shaky breath.
"Frederick, I know your leave will end soon, but I think Lori would like to see you when she wakes up. Would it be all right if you stayed around?"
Frederick was surprised by this application. "Y… yes, I'll stay as long as I can." His mind thought quickly, Anne will be here. I can make it up to her somehow.
"Good, I was hoping you would, considering how much you two have been seeing each other." Charles looked at Lori and stroked her cheek.
Frederick stopped, speechless. He gaped at Charles. Oh G-d. Do they think I'm in love with Lori? Is that what they think? Is that what Anne thinks? She can't think that is true! He looked at Anne. Turn around, Anne. Look at me. Tell me that you believe in me. Anne had her back turned to him. She didn't move. Frederick felt that knot in his stomach grow tighter and tighter. Please, Anne. Then he remembered that there was someone in her life. Frederick excused himself and left.
Anne turned back around just as Frederick left the room. Her breath finally started slowing down and her cheeks just returned to their normal colour. She was in pieces. There was no denying that Frederick was dangerous to her sensibilities. She had to let him make his decision, he must know by now what she felt about him, it was so plainly obvious. She finally sat down; this day was giving her a headache.
For the next half-hour she thought about nothing except what Frederick would do. Sometimes she would give in to her fantasies and imagine that he would come back to her, forgive her and love her as she loved him. And then, right away, she would be just as certain that he would cast her off forever; that the tenderness he showed her just before Charles barged in on them was just a passing fancy on his part. A temporary weakness. Mostly she thought that he would stay by Lori's side. It would be the honourable thing to do. She would understand. He couldn't abandon Lori just when she needed support from everybody she knew. It wasn't in his nature. So where did she fit in to all this? Anne felt the tears well up but suppressed them, she would think about herself later. Frederick must know how she felt.
It was up to Frederick now.
Chapter 15
Mary was hurt that Charles would want Anne to stay rather than herself. "Why should she stay? Am I not family?" Mary lowered her voice so she wouldn't disturb any patients. "Why don't you want me here?"
"It's not that I don't want you, honey. Someone has to look after the children. And besides, you know you're not good in situations like this." Charles put his hands on her shoulders trying to placate his wife.
Mary got angry. "Like what? How can I be good if no one gives me a chance? The children can come here; we can get an apartment. Lori shouldn't be too long staying in the hospital, the doctor said so. And then she'll need help recovering." Mary was determined to stay and conquer this. "Besides, Anne has to work, she couldn't be here very much anyway." Why do I always feel in competition with my own sister?
"But can you look after Lori and look after the children?" Charles was flustered. "Anne has only herself to take care of, you have the boys and me."
Mary grabbed his shirtsleeve and pulled him out of the building so they could talk in private. "There will be four adults here to take care of Lori, I doubt that we'd be doing it all at one time. Between the four of us, we will always have someone to look after the children."
"But Anne already said…"
Mary lost it "Why is it always Anne? Why do you always want Anne to be with us? What is the big attraction?"
"Huh?"
"Anne's been around a lot at your invitation. Why? Why is it, whenever I turn around, Anne's always there?"
"What?!"
"Ever since Daddy moved out she's been hanging around our house. She's never been over so often before." Mary took a deep breath. She started crying for the fourth time that day. She had to find out before she lost her nerve. "Do… do you not love me anymore? Do you… regret marrying me when you wanted Anne first?"
Charles was stunned. "No! No! Mary, look at me. Look at me, Mary." He placed his hands on her face and lifted her head up so he could look in her eyes. "Mary, I love you. I have loved no one else but you. I never wanted to marry anyone else but you. You're my wife and the mother of my children and the one person in the whole world that I would want to be with in my old age." He wiped the tears that were streaming down her face and wrapped his arms around her. Sheltering her. He kissed her and whispered things in her ear that she hadn't heard in a long time.
Anne knew that Mary would want to stay so the news didn't come as too big a shock. She only regretted not being able to be of use to Lori, but as she thought about it, there really wasn't much she could do. Lori was in a hospital with excellent doctors, her parents were coming straight away, and she would be spared the agony of watching Frederick ignore her. On the other hand, she would be granted the joy of spending time with Frederick if that was to be. Anne paused. Maybe she should still stay. Anne looked out of the glass doors of the lobby. She saw Frederick pull up his car. He looked like he was in misery. Helen was already out front waiting for him to drive her home. Anne decided that she should leave and not complicate things further.
Frederick got out and opened the car door for Helen and then sat down on the curb, the wind taken out of him. He put his head in his hands and waited. Oh G-d, what am I going to do? I'm such a blockhead. I behaved like a petulant twelve year-old and look at the result. Anne thinks I hate her. But I don't. I love her. I love Anne. I always have. How could I have been so stupid? I've lost her forever.
Anne stepped out of the hospital and said good-bye to Charles quietly. She could see Frederick sitting dejectedly on the sidewalk, head hanging down. She felt her heart go out to him. She wanted to go to him and comfort him. To let him know that Lori would be all right and things would go back to the way they were, whatever that was. To tell him that she would be waiting for him if he still wanted her. Anne softly walked up and kneeled down next to him. She tentatively put her hand on his shoulder and felt him jump at her touch. He looked at her with such an expression of anguish that Anne felt the tears that she'd been holding back all day slip away. Anne couldn't find the words she wanted to say. She brushed back a lock of hair from his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Frederick." If only you knew how sorry. I'm sorry about what happened today, about you and me, about everything, but especially about us. She wanted to kiss him but knew that this was not the time or place for it, no matter what might have happened earlier. She forced herself to walk away to the car.
Wearily Frederick stood up and got into the car. He could hear Helen crying to herself. He started the car and pulled out into the street.
He wished like anything that Helen had stayed at the hospital so he could talk to Anne alone. Frederick didn't know what to do and it was that uncertainty that was eating at him. He felt like stopping everything, just take Anne right now and never let her go. Instead, Frederick pulled out onto the freeway and signaled his lane change.
Frederick drove on for another fifteen minutes when a semi came roaring up from behind. The lights from the truck bounced off the rear view mirror, blinding Frederick. He squinted his eyes and shifted the mirror away from the headlights. The light bounced off the ceiling of the car and faded into semi-darkness. Frederick glanced into the mirror and saw Anne sleeping. The excitement of the day plus the lateness of the hour made Anne so tired that she couldn't keep her eyes open. Frederick alternately looked at the road and at Anne. Could she still love him after the way he'd treated her? After all that he said and all that he didn't say?
Frederick felt so stupid. He was stupid! All this time. All this time and he had to run from her. Pretending she didn't matter when she was the only thing he cared about. He had been given a second chance and he ignored it. If he wasn't careful he'd lose her forever. Frederick pounded the steering wheel with frustration. Anne woke up, startled by the noise. He could feel her watching him. He mumbled an apology. Frederick let the truck pass but he did not replace the mirror to its original position; he wanted to look at Anne for as long as he could.
Three Days Later
Frederick threw his bag on the bed and started packing. His leave was over tomorrow. Frederick tossed his clothes in carelessly. He tried to clear his thoughts from the events of the last month but it was useless. He'd gotten himself into a big mess. The only thing that made it worse was the fact that he could have prevented it if he hadn't been so stubborn. Anne was right there in front of him the whole time and he had to play the lover spurned. The least he could have done was see if she could care for him again. Give him the chance to win her love once more.
And there was Lori. Frederick wanted to kick himself for that. There was never any agreement between them but he now saw how his actions might have been taken by some as meaning more than they did. Especially by Lori herself. And maybe Anne. He sat down in the chair and contemplated his problem. Frederick was afraid that he had lost his last chance.
A car rounded the bend and slowed down. Frederick parted the curtains absently to see who it was. The car pulled up at the curb then backed up into the driveway across the street, the headlights illuminating the window that Frederick was looking out of. Frederick caught a glimpse of faint scratches by his right hand.
He tore his eyes away from the scratches and looked back out of the window. He saw Tim Hayter and Helen get out of the car. They were holding hands. Tim was comforting her. Then put his arms around Helen and leaned in to kiss her. Frederick looked away. He had no right to watch them. He understood where the nagging came from now. He was jealous. Jealous and lonely. He wanted what Helen and Tim had. He wanted it with Anne. And she loved someone else. he looked back at the scratches. Finally his mind registered that they meant something.
He kneeled down and took a good look. A. E. and F. W. He closed his eyes and remembered the way she used to look at him. Her eyes used to be filled with love and trust. He so desperately wanted her to look at him like that again. Not like the painful wary gazes she'd been giving him. Frederick put his forehead against the glass pane to cool it off. I loved her so much. I wanted her so much. Will she give me the chance? He traced his finger around Anne's handiwork.
What the hell are you afraid of, Wentworth?
Nothing. But rejection.
But, then you'll know for sure and this suspense you've been torturing yourself with for the eight years will be over.
But what if…
Damn it, Wentworth, there is no 'what if'! Just do it!
Fine. Fine. "I'll do it. I'll talk to Anne."
Talk to her? You dimwit! Go to her, take her in your arms and show her!
Will she let me?
Oh, I give up, you're hopeless. You don't deserve her.
Frederick got up suddenly. He knew what he had to do. He should have listened to his conscious long ago when it told him to seek Anne out after he'd returned from the Gulf. He almost did, he was so close to it when he chickened out, afraid of her rejection. But now, there was no turning back. There was just one thing stopping him. He didn't know how to find her. Frederick blinked several times before he realized that he didn't even know where she lived. I could get her number from Mary, but it would be difficult to explain. Well, so what. Let them know I'm in love with her. I should have done it when I first saw her four weeks ago.
He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house to Mary Musgroves. He got halfway across the street before he remembered that they were still with Lori. Darn it! But Helen was home. He turned and walked up to the front door of the Musgrove house. He pounded on the door, which Helen answered with a flustered look on her face.
"Hi, Frederick. I'm um, sort of busy right now." Helen glanced nervously over her shoulder.
"No, I don't want to keep you, I just wanted to get Anne's address." Frederick tried to sound nonchalant.
Helen opened the door wider. "What do you need Anne's address for?"
"I have something that belongs to her." My heart. "I'm leaving tomorrow and I want to return it before I go."
"Oh! Well, you could just leave it with us, we'll get it to her."
"No, I don't want to bother you. She lives in Long Beach and that's on my way." Just give me the address already!!!
"Okay let me go write it down." Helen let Frederick come into the house while she went to get the address book. Frederick glanced into the living room and saw Tim sitting on the couch waiting for Helen to return. There weren't many lights on and Frederick doubted that they were discussing politics when he interrupted them.
"Here you go." Helen handed Frederick a slip of paper and showed him the door. "Have a good trip tomorrow. Will you be gone long?"
Frederick stepped outside. "It all depends. You know how that goes."
"I certainly do. Well, goodnight." Helen smiled and closed the door. Frederick chuckled to himself as he walked back down the driveway. He put the precious slip of paper in his pocket. He was leaving right away.
Once in the house, Frederick ran down the hall and into his room. Anne's room. He grabbed his bag and almost made it out before he stopped and turned around. He looked around for something. Finally, he took off his class ring, which he hardly ever wore, and walked back to the window. He kneeled down and carved his own word into the glass next to Anne's. Satisfied, Frederick slapped his hands together and left the house.
Frederick reached Anne's place an hour later. He got out and inspected the building. It was old but clean and well kept. Ignoring the elevator, he ran up the three flights of stairs. He hurried down the corridor that opened out to the street on one side. Frederick looked at the apartment numbers, 301, 302, 303, 304, 5, 6, 307! Frederick looked in the window but the blinds were closed. He straightened his shirt and ran his fingers through his short hair. Finally he knocked and waited.
No answer.
Frederick swallowed and knocked again, this time louder. She must be sleeping.
No answer.
Frederick looked around. Where is she? He looked at his watch. It was eleven at night. Where could she be?
He cupped his hands around his eyes and peered through the window. He couldn't see a thing. Frederick pounded on the door. Where are you?
There was no answer.
"Aggggggghhh!" Frederick slammed his fists against the door in frustration. Where are you, Anne? He squeezed his eyes shut and let his head rest on the door. Oh, Anne… He took a deep breath and held it. It was all he could do to keep from ripping the door off its hinges and flinging it off the side of the building. Then he heard a phone ringing inside the apartment. He waited for Anne to pick it up. Maybe she's a heavy sleeper. The phone rang and rang and rang. No answer. Frederick's heart groaned in despair.
Frederick dropped his hands to his side and turned away from the door. He had his chance and lost it. He walked dejectedly down the stairs to his car. There was nothing left for him now except for his career. He tried to stop his heart from tearing into bits.
Two flights up, the elevator doors slid open and Anne walked out holding a basket of laundry to her hips. She could hear the fading footsteps of someone on the stairs but didn't pay attention to them. Lots of people in her building got sick of waiting for the elevator and took the stairs instead.
She balanced the basket against the wall as she unlocked her door. Downstairs someone slammed a car door shut and turned on the engine. Anne opened the door and walked inside. The car peeled out and roared down the street recklessly. Stupid kids, Anne thought. They're going to kill someone someday.
Chapter 16
Anne zipped up her dress and once more looked at the phone, wishing it would ring. Frederick had been gone for two weeks already and still not a word from him. If he was still interested in her, then he would have called by now, wouldn't he? She slipped her feet into a pair of sandals and headed out the door. She was supposed to dine with her father and Elizabeth this evening. Mary wouldn't be there to perform this duty with her. She and Charles were still with Lori. Anne felt guilty about not paying more attention to her father, but he seemed to get ample enough flattery from Elizabeth and Mr. Clay. So she agreed to have dinner with him at his new place and spend the evening being polite and ignored.
Anne pulled up and parked her car in a visitor's spot in front of a brilliantly-lit sky-rise apartment. She buzzed her father to be let in and heard Elizabeth talking in the background when he answered. She went into the lobby and pushed a button to one of the elevators. The elevator itself was lined with mirrors and Anne checked her dress and makeup once more. Walter was very fastidious and was apt to give her a lecture if she wasn't turned out to perfection. He hated to admit it, but he could remember the days of the big studio factory machines and how they produced picture perfect stars. The one thing that was first and foremost in their lessons was always look your best, even if you're only going to the bathroom. Anne smoothed a wrinkle in her dress and waited for the elevator doors to open. The ride was tedious, giving Anne a taste of what she could expect from the evening.
She stepped out lightly as the elevator doors whooshed open and walked down the hallway. Someone came out of the other elevator behind her and followed Anne to her father's door. When she turned to see who it was, she came face to face with the man from the beach, the one who gave her such a wonderful smile. She nodded at him, letting him know that she recognized him. He leaned across her to ring the doorbell.
Elizabeth opened the door and let Anne and the gentleman in with a smile. She was pleased to see Anne, which surprised her until she realized that she was the last to be told the excellent news. Excellent news which Walter attributed to the unknown gentleman.
"Anne! How are you darling?" Elizabeth kissed the air next to Anne's check so as not to smudge her lipstick. "We've heard about Lori Musgrove's unfortunate accident. Isn't that terrible?"
"Yes, she's very…"
"Mmm, Isn't she?" Elizabeth turned away. "Daddy, William Elliot is here and so is Anne." She took William by the arm and left Anne to close the door behind her. She followed Elizabeth into the living room and was greeted warmly by her father. Pleased and surprised, Anne kissed her dad on the cheek before sitting down.
Walter was behind the wet bar busy shaking martinis. "Anne, I'm glad you could make it." Walter poured himself a drink. "I want you to meet William Elliot, my new agent."
Anne looked at William surprised, she wanted to ask about Mr. Clay but held her tongue. Instead she shook William Elliot's hand. "I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Elliot."
"Please, call me William. I'm glad to finally meet you too, Anne." His voice had a decidedly clipped British accent, which made Anne smile. He smiled back.
Walter handed Anne a drink, which she took reluctantly. "He's already proved himself. I have a role in a new movie." Walter stated proudly. William looked pleased with himself.
"Congratulations, Daddy." Anne was very impressed. Walter hadn't appeared in a movie in years. She began to think that the switch from Mr. Clay to Mr. Elliot to be a wise decision. "What's the movie?" She sipped her drink.
"We're remaking Mr. Roberts." Walter spoke as though it were his own idea. "I play the Captain. You know, Jimmy Cagney's role?"
Anne choked on her drink. Walter continued talking as though she were hanging on his every word, while William had to pound her on the back until she stopped. She finally managed to say something. "What?"
"I said production doesn't begin for another few months, but William has fixed up some more roles to fill my time until we start shooting." Walter held up his glass in a toast to William. Anne looked at him incredulously.
"Oh Anne, you're a mess." Elizabeth admonished. "Here, go to the bedroom and fix your makeup." Not wanting to make her father feel bad, Anne obediently got up and went into Walter's bedroom and locked the door behind her. She took a deep breath then started giggling hysterically. Daddy in a sailor's uniform! That did it, she took a pillow off her father's bed and buried her face in it stifling the laughs that bubbled up.
In the living room, Anne's behaviour was apologized for, and Elizabeth ushered the men into the dining room. William wasn't offended in the least, in fact, he sort of had an idea of why she reacted the way she did. Walter could never be described as a Navy man, but he fit the role and the director thought so too, and that's what counted.
Anne wiped her eyes and straightened her hair a bit. She didn't look as beautiful as Walter would like, but he would just have to get used to that eventually. She threw the pillow back on the bed and walked into the living room. They weren't there. She went into the dining room and saw that everyone was seated and ready to eat. She apologized for keeping them waiting and sat down, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
Conversation turned from Walter, to the movie, to Elizabeth, to Walter, and finally to William. Anne wanted to know more about the man.
"How long have you been in America, William?"
"I've been here for about fifteen years. My patroness brought me over when she was touring the States."
Walter interrupted William in a hushed tone. "Dame Margot Dalrymple." He raised an eyebrow in awe.
Anne recognized the name of the famous actress and turned to William. "Were you an actor?"
William smiled sweetly, "Yes, I was, but I quickly decided that I wasn't very good at it. I am much more suited to represent actors, than to be one myself." He hurried to change the subject. Anne nodded her head understanding but something about his whole demeanor didn't quite wash. Why wouldn't he go into more detail? What was he unwilling to admit? She pushed the thought from her mind and concentrated on having as pleasant a dinner as possible. After dinner, William was shown the Family Album. He was duly impressed and kept his smiles for himself.
William secretly examined Anne. She was very pretty and seemed to be a suitable age, although, truth be known, much too old for his tastes. She was down to earth, which he did like and thought that he might use her to his advantage. At first he had his eye on Elizabeth, but her petulant ways made him quickly change his mind, and one could plainly see that for all of Elizabeth's pretensions, Anne had more class. He weighed the two carefully in his mind. Elizabeth knew all the right people and was able to play the Hollywood game, while Anne avoided the LA scene and shunned the seedier side of things. He envisioned each of them on his arm at a social gathering and found Anne's grace and understated beauty to be most appealing. Yes, she would do very nicely, gossips around town were beginning to talk about him, and a wife to hang on his arm should solve his problem. For the time being.
Throughout the evening, William continued to charm his host and eldest daughter with his smooth ways and British accent, but Anne was still skeptical. He was good to look at, certainly, and he was ever the gentleman. Anne couldn't help but compare him to Frederick, as she did with all men, and though she found him to be sophisticated and a bit tantalizing, William had not Frederick's ability to look through her to soul and touch her in the deepest places.
She wondered which part of William was fake, the looks or the personality. She couldn't put her finger on it, but even though he was intriguing, there was something not right. All through the night, she'd catch bits and pieces of discrepancies to his stories. Things that didn't click with what he'd said earlier, although his act was polished and carefully presented. He certainly knew how to do his job if he could get Walter a role in a movie, so he must be competent. Anne needed to know more about him before she judged him.
At the end of the night, William escorted Anne to her car and saw her safely inside. He asked for permission to call her, which, after a brief hesitation she gave him. She need not talk to him if she didn't want to. He said everything that was proper and waved good-bye as she backed up and drove off. Anne wondered what she was doing giving him her number like that after all the doubts she had about him all evening. Then she realized that she was attracted to him. There was something about a mystery that fascinated her. And Frederick still hadn't called.
A sleek, smooth, black Cadillac turned left onto Sunset Boulevard and slowed down, pulling up to the curb. Reflected in the dark-tinted windows were three young, heavily-made-up girls dressed in their shortest, shiniest clothes. One of them slinked up to the car and leaned over enticingly. The window slid down, Low Rider was playing on the radio. The girl peered into the car, but the man's face stayed in the shadows. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the beat of the song.
Low Ri-der. Tap. Tap.
Low Ri-der. Tap. Tap.
"Lookin' for a date, Mister?" She licked her lips.
The man nodded and hit the power locks on the door. The girl hopped in. The man didn't wait until she got the door shut before he pulled away from the curb. She looked at him warily, hoping he wasn't one of those psychopaths that preyed on women. He stared straight ahead waiting for the light to turn green. The song on the radio changed.
Oh, my little pretty one, my pretty one
When you gonna give me some time Sharona?
Will you make my motor run, my motor run?
Got it coming all through the night Sharona
Finally the man spoke. "What's your name?"
She smiled once she heard his voice. "Call me Mandi. With an I." She snuggled up to him and put her hands where no one could see them and caressed him.
"You're young."
"I'm seventeen. Too young or too old?" She nuzzled his ear.
Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
Always get it up from the touch of the younger kind
MY-MY-MY-AY-AY OOH
MA-MA-MA-MY SHARONA
"Just right, baby, just right. Ever thought about being in the movies, baby? I have a camera at my studio. Let me give you a screen test." He put his arm around her and headed east toward his studio.
MY-MY-MY-AY-AY WHOOOA!*
The girls left standing on the corner looked as the car drove off. The license plate read Elliot.
* My Sharona by the Knack and Low Rider by War.
Chapter 17
Lori sat up in her bed; pillows propped up behind her and feeling very sorry for herself. The doctors said that the loss of her eyesight would be temporary but that didn't help her much. She still couldn't see a thing and she wanted to wallow in misery until she could see again. She was undeniably in a self-induced pit of despair and she wouldn't allow anyone to come near her if they tried to cheer her up. That's why she liked it when Benwick came to visit her. He didn't come in with a phony sing-songy voice pretending that she was fine, thinking that her intelligence had gone the way of her vision or try to cheer her up by telling her that everything would be OK if she would only try. Lori was sick of trying.
Benwick would just come in and not say a word other than his first polite hello when he entered the room. He always had the same routine, always sat in the same chair and he always came at the same time and never said a word. She knew he was there because of his cologne. At first she thought it was Frederick but then she remembered that he never smelled liked that, he always wore a different scent when he did wear any and anyway he couldn't come because he was back out at sea. She wondered why Benwick came at all, but she assumed that it was his turn to baby-sit her until family could come after dinner. She wasn't sure what Benwick did when he was there. She supposed he read a great deal because she could hear the flapping of paper as a page was turned.
It wasn't until Benwick's fourth visit when Lori realized that she couldn't remember what he looked like. This shocked her completely, how could she not remember? Lori had always thought of herself an observant person and she racked her memory to try to remember any feature of his face but could come up with nothing. So she began to talk to him.
"What are you reading?" Lori turned her head towards Benwick. She heard the unmistakable slap as the book snapped shut.
"I'm reading some poems." His voice showed his surprise at her addressing him.
"You read poetry?" Lori sat up straighter in bed.
Benwick chuckled and Lori liked the sound of it very much. "You don't have to act so surprised, Lori."
The sound of her name from his lips surprised her. "Why did you call me Lori?"
"Isn't that your name or am I in the wrong room?"
Lori smiled and it felt good. Her first smile in weeks. She started chuckling. "Would you read some poems to me?" She leaned back and closed her eyes, which really wasn't necessary but she did it anyway. Benwick cleared his throat and then started reading, soft and low. Lori didn't understand what half of it meant, she'd never been into reading poetry much but what she did understand almost depressed her. Why was he reading such sorrowful stuff? Lori couldn't remember, she wasn't sure if she'd ever known.
"Benwick?"
He stopped reading and looked up. "Yes?"
"What's your first name?"
Benwick was surprised. "James."
"James what?" Lori demanded.
"James Aaron Benwick."
"Then, James Aaron Benwick, I want to go for a walk. Do you think they'd let me out of here?"
James Aaron Benwick smiled. Lori couldn't see the smile but she could hear it in his voice. "I think they've been trying to kick you out of here for the last five days. Shall I go call your parents to come and get you?"
Lori nodded. He started to leave the room but she called out. "Wait!" His footsteps ceased. "You can use my phone." James walked over to the bed and made the phone call. She could feel him next to her, very close. His conversation was short and to the point. "What did they say?"
"They said that they would be right over. They're very happy."
Lori felt guilty all of a sudden. "I suppose they would be." She was curious to know something. "James, can I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"Why do you come here?"
"I come here because I want to. Besides, you're quiet and don't try to cheer me up too much." Lori wasn't sure if he was joking or not but there was an unmistakable hint of a smile to his voice.
She smiled back. "I'm glad you came, James."
"Me too."
From that day forward Lori had very little thoughts of Frederick.
© 1998, 1999 Copyright held by the author.