Chapter 33 the Alternate Version.

This does not repeat the balcony scene with William and Elizabeth. It is told from Caroline's point of view and I'm warning you, it ain't pretty.

aroline was stunned into disbelief. When that tree knocked William down she saw all her future disappear. She thought it had killed him and then she would never be able to spend his money or fly to exotic locations in his plane or throw wild and lavish parties. But then, she saw him get up! William wasn't dead! He was only hurt a little. Caroline was weak with relief. Until he came too close to her bleeding on the ground like that. Caroline had just bought these shoes and blood was the last thing she needed on them. But then it happened. The topper! The topper was not that Elizabeth was playing Florence Nightingale to William. The topper was not that Elizabeth was practically sitting on top of William forcing him to let her touch him (and Elizabeth can't keep her dirty hands off him, Caroline thought bitterly). The topper was that abomination on William's arm. That tattoo! Caroline was furious. She'd never been so humiliated in all her life. Well, that tattoo was going. It was going if she had to rip it off his arm with her teeth.

Caroline left the group that was huddled around the doorway to the verandah discussing the fallen tree and how lucky William was to not be seriously hurt. She stalked off and after a few wrong turns found the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of wine. Rummaging around the drawers and hitting her knuckles on bits of items that were scattered in them, Caroline finally found what she was looking for, the corkscrew. Caroline jabbed it into the cork twisting it savagely, imagining that she was twisting Elizabeth Bennet's neck all the while. The cork came out with a dull "pop" and Caroline took a swig straight from the bottle.

Caroline felt so sorry for herself. All that hard work and for nothing. It's not fair! It's just not fair! What am I going to do now? She wondered. I can't give up. I have to keep on trying. D**n it! My name should have been on that tattoo! Caroline downed some more wine. She grabbed a bag of pistachios that was sitting on the counter and began to crack the shells open with her teeth.

An hour later Caroline had an empty bottle of wine and a pile of shells before her on the counter. She staggered to her feet and wobbled to the wine rack for another bottle. Caroline's heel caught on the leg of the stool she was sitting on and she went flying and would have fallen flat on her face if an incredibly strong pair of arms had not caught her.

"Whoa! Are you all right, Miss?" The arms spoke. Caroline looked up and dimly saw that the incredibly strong arms belonged to an incredibly handsome face and an incredibly broad chest where little curls of hair peeked through the top of his incredibly tight shirt.

"Yez'm fine." Caroline snaked her arms around his neck. "Waz yer name, Big boy?"

"I'm Greg, Miss. I'm Mr. Darcy's gardener."

Greg with the incredibly strong arms tried to sit Caroline on the stool but she would not let go for all the world. Who needs William Darcy that rat when I can have Conan the Barbarian? "Greg? Do you like me?"

"Um… yes?" Greg said. "Yes I do, Miss. Now don't you think that you should be going to bed?"

"What a wonderful idea Conan…I mean Greg. I thought you'd never ask." Caroline kissed him on the lips. "But don't call me 'Miz', call me… call me Lola." Greg with the incredibly strong arms smiled and picked Lola up and carried her to her bedroom. Caroline had to really concentrate on this one because she could not remember which door led to her room. After the third try Caroline cried out "This is it". Caroline lay down on the bed and had Greg use his incredibly strong arms to do incredible things to her.

Caroline woke up several hours later and panicked because she could not feel her left arm. She tried to move but something was pinning it down. Some incredibly heavy thing was sitting on her arm and Caroline looked over to see this monster of a man lying next to her and hogging all the covers. His mouth was open and letting out a G-d awful snore that would wake the dead. There was an incredibly large gap between his front teeth. Caroline choked down a scream and shook the monster awake.

"Who are you?" She whispered violently. The sleeping monster snorted and opened his eyes. My G-d he's the most hideous person I've ever seen in all my life! What did I do? "Who are you? Get out of my bed this instant!"

Caroline pulled her arm out from under the lump lying next to her and after a while it started to tingle, sending flashes of pain every time she moved it.

"I'm Conan, remember?" Conan the Lump looked into Caroline's face and shivered. "Jeez, Lola, if I knew you were this ugly, I would have left you in the kitchen." Conan got out of bed and pulled his pants up over the roll of his stomach. He tucked in his shirt and bent over to put his work boots on which made the shirt in the back come out and exposed the crack of his ass. "You really had me going last night, Lola. But then, I really enjoyed the hurricane party you threw for me. Tell you what, the next time you're in town, call me and I'll treat you to some more of the 'Little Barbarian'." Conan winked and left the room leaving a horrified Lola staring at the door in disbelief.

Caroline could not believe her ears. Ugly? I'm not ugly! I was never ugly. She went to the mirror and looked in. She gave off a little shriek when she saw her face. Her makeup was smeared and streaked and her hair was matted to her scalp. She looked like a 'Don't' in Glamour Magazine. At once she began to repair herself and tried to block Conan out of her mind. When she was finished showering and scrubbing and painting, she changed into what she thought of as an appropriate after hurricane outfit and went downstairs.

She could not find William anywhere in the house nor could she find Conan, which was fine with her. He was the last man she wanted to see right now. Caroline put her hands on her hips. Where is William anyway? She looked out the window and saw the debris of the storm lying on the lawn. Such sloppy workers William has here. When I am his wife I'll have to find competent people who can clean up a mess. And the first thing I'll do is get rid of that lump that was in my bed this morning.

She saw the dock and the table set up with William and his sister eating and laughing. And Elizabeth Bennet!

Caroline put on a pair of sunglasses and went rushing out of the house making a beeline straight towards the dock. There she is with my man horning in on my opportunity to show William how desirable I would be. Shoving me out of the way and snatching him out of my finger tips. And just when I was so close! Caroline dimly remembered the tattoo but dismissed it as being irrelevant. I'm the one he needs, not that Bennet tramp.

She climbed the stairs to the dock two at a time and screeched to a halt at the table. "This looks so lovely, William, how thoughtful of you to prepare breakfast." She sat down and belligerently crossed her arms in front of her. "Pass me the coffee, Georgianna, like a good girl." Georgianna silently set the coffeepot down on front of Caroline. "Thank you, honey. Where's my cup?"

"We only brought three." William said coldly. He was staring at the dark spot on her neck. Is that a hickey?

Caroline flushed at this. "Well, I'll just have to use yours then." William tossed out the coffee that was still left in his mug and handed it to her." Caroline hummed to herself as she poured out a cup. "So, Elizabeth, I was very surprised to see you yesterday. Although, I know how much you like to sail. Or is it just the sailors that you like? Tell me, have you heard from Mr. Wickham lately?" Caroline stirred the coffee, driving William nuts with the clinking sound that the spoon made against the sides of the cup.

Elizabeth slowly lifted her eyes and looked at Caroline and wondered if sailboats still had yardarms so she could string Caroline up. "No, I haven't." She replied casually. "I never wanted to." Seeing that Georgianna was mortified at Caroline's words she wanted to get her out of that women's sight as soon as possible. "Georgie, I heard your brother mention that you had some stables yesterday. Would you show me where the they are?"

Georgianna nodded her head and quickly got up avoiding her brother's eyes. She almost ran down the steps and halted there waiting for Elizabeth. She couldn't face her brother after Caroline's mean spirited attack. Elizabeth slowly got up and thanked William for such a lovely breakfast then joined his sister. Caroline glowered as William and Elizabeth exchanged goofy looks before Georgianna led Elizabeth away.

Caroline breathed a sigh of relief. "Alone at last. I thought that Elizabeth would never leave, she just can't seem to take a hint. And frankly, I never saw someone so altered since I last saw her. She's gotten so slummy looking. Did you notice that she hasn't even changed her clothes since yesterday?" Caroline looked down at her own impeccable designer outfit and picked off a miniscule piece of lint. She tossed it away. "I never could see what was so special about her. She has no style or flair about her at all." William was silent. "I believe that you liked her quite a bit when we were in Florida, didn't you?" Caroline dared him to speak.

"Yes, I did." William stood up. "But you're wrong in assuming that I only "liked" her. I respect Elizabeth more than anybody I know. She has integrity and modesty and character and I am proud to know her." William lowered his voice so that Caroline had to strain to hear him. Her stomach flopped when she heard his words. "The next time you insult Elizabeth make sure that I'm not around to hear it. I will not have the woman I love talked about like that." William gave her a withering look that made her cringe.

"And if I were you, I'd try to do something about that hickey on your neck. It really makes you look like the cheap person you are." He left Caroline to her breakfast and walked toward the house.