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Chapter 5

lyssa was feeling very cross as she stretched out her legs before beginning her morning jog. She had the dream again, but with a difference. The man was beginning to look more like William Austen. What was he doing in her dream? She felt as though she were a moth and he, the flame, that their attraction was inevitable. Today she decided to take a different route, all the way through Ashbourne and out the other side of town.

Fitz, William, and Carol were on the road at an admirably early hour of the morning, but did not meet up with Alyssa Benning. Carol decided that Alyssa was probably not the threat she had perceived, and that she would never get up this early again. Now she could go with Fitz to the Continent for a few days, and not worry overmuch about William. Fitz had to take care of some business, and Carol intended to shop. They would return to London in time to drive back to Derbyshire with Charley and Janet. It would be a welcome change-of-pace from the dairyland! She knew that William would be very busy arranging every detail of the lease with Joanna, and would not have time to entertain her anyway.

Alyssa felt more human after her jog, and as she walked up to her house, she saw her neighbor lady out in her herb garden, "Hello, Aunt Kate! What a glorious day, eh?"

A tall, spare woman in her seventies, not really Alyssa's aunt, but a friend ever since they became neighbors, straightened up and waved to Alyssa. "Did you say you needed sage leaves?" she asked.

Alyssa sauntered over and looked around the garden. Most of the plants were dead from the winter cold, and many areas had been cleared away. Here and there, some of the herbs were starting to green up again. The sage and thyme had survived with their color intact, and the leaves could be used in her design for the well drawing. Alyssa picked a few leaves and studied their coloration. She wanted the background on the picture to depict a woodland, actually the woods at Pemberley.

"What fairy tale are you going to use this year?" Aunt Kate asked. "Another one of those from the Andrew Lang collection?"

"No, I decided to do the Lizzy and Darcy story. Their heads in a heart against a background of woods."

"Folks around here would like that," Aunt Kate said thoughtfully. "It is a story dear to my own heart."

"It may be hard to do Lizzy's face though, since there are no paintings of her," Alyssa explained. "There's just that tapestry of her standing in her rose garden... it hangs in Joanna's study."

"A background of roses would look good."

"That's true, and I have plenty of dried rose petals from my own garden. I better decide soon, hadn't I?" Alyssa laughed. "Say, did you need any groceries today?"

"No thank you, Lissy dear, but don't forget my banking tomorrow." She looked at the young woman with some fondness. Having Lissy as a neighbor was like having a granddaughter nearby. It was very comforting.

"I won't," Alyssa assured her. "But now I better run and get ready for work. Enjoy the day, Aunt Kate. Spring is here!" She gave her an affectionate pat on the back, and went on her way.

Aunt Kate looked after her. Alyssa was so young and pretty. She tried to remember if she had ever had that much energy. She wanted the girl to find her nice young man and get married, but she was afraid that, then, Lissy might move away from her. No, she knew Lissy better than that. Even if she lived somewhere else, she would come and take care of her 'Aunt Kate.' Besides, she could not stop the forces that were coming together now. It had taken many, many years for the right time, but it was finally coming to pass. She had noticed that, in the past week, the signs were beginning to come true. And she would not stop it if she could, for it would be her salvation. Aunt Kate smiled tiredly.

Wendell Dickey kept his word, and showed up about lunchtime at the library. Alyssa was whisked away to a nice, little restaurant, much to her surprise and delight. He looked as good in the sunlight as he did in a dark pub, and his attentiveness was all that she could have wished, until...

"How long have you and Joanna been friends?" Dickey began.

"I met her four years ago," Alyssa replied. "We became good friends instantly." She looked pointedly at Dickey. "It seems that Joanna is able to discern lasting friendships on sight."

Dickey nodded, "Yes, we became acquainted very easily." He continued his questioning, "How long have Mr. and Mrs. Heywood been gone? It must be hard for someone so young to live alone and have so much responsibility."

"They died in a car crash a little over a year ago. It has been a very difficult time for Joanna."

"Doesn't she have any relatives to guide her and give her comfort?"

Alyssa shook her head, "As you know, Joanna was adopted. Some of Mr. and Mrs. Heywood's distant relations are somewhere around London, and a few are reportedly in South Africa. No one close to Joanna, though."

She returned to work in lower spirits, though she did not let on to Dickey. He gave her a quick hug and said he would call her.

"Where did you find this good looking gent?" Charlotte asked. After months of drought, Alyssa was coming up with some very interesting acquaintances.

"Mr. Wendell Dickey, one of Joanna's new friends," Alyssa replied absent-mindedly.

"Didn't you have a good time, then?"

Alyssa thought about it. Had she? He was always a gentleman, opened doors, pulled out chairs, leaned forward as he talked to her, pleasant voice, amiable... 'That's it!' she determined. Aloud she said, "He only wanted to talk about Joanna. How romantic is that?" She began to categorize the books in the return bin. "Oh well..."

Tomorrow was one of her days to leave work early. If she hurried, she could get to Pemberley in time to walk around and get some inspiration for her upcoming work of art. She would take her favorite path through the woods and then back to the well. 'Woods or roses?' she had to decide within the next few days.

Tonight she was committed to a Master Gardener workshop. Everyone was always eager to begin once there had been a warmer day or two. She would be in charge of the discussion about rose gardens... pruning, feeding, taking care of pests, hardy varieties to try, the different categories, companion plants. Most people only wanted to try the tea roses, but they could be the devil to keep alive and healthy. In her own garden, she had a variety of old and new roses, some of them only blooming for a couple of weeks in June, and some of them didn't even look like roses with their huge petals arranged in a single layer. She also had several tea roses, but her favorites to care for were the miniatures. They could bloom all summer and required very little attention. Alyssa had to grin at how it had all begun. Her beginnings as a Master Gardener were inauspicious. Alyssa did not have a history of having a green thumb, so, when she read that some roses had existed for over a thousand years, she decided that was the plant for her, and she had not diversified. It made more sense to her to take care of one kind of plant really well. She remembered back several years ago, when a friend had asked her to take care of about a hundred houseplants for her. The friend had temporarily moved into a smaller apartment and did not have room for them. A year later, when the friend finally moved into a house, she only had thirty plants. Alyssa liked to tell her stories to the people who attended her workshops.

William could not stifle a yawn as he stood up and stretched. He and Joanna had been working out the details of the lease for the past two days. He had met all of the staff, indoors and out, and was very pleased at the way it was shaping up. In fact, it was better than he had hoped for. Barbra should be one satisfied customer.

They were in Joanna's study, William at the desk. Joanna had been running in and out, attending to the business of her estate. There was an interesting tapestry hanging between the two windows, of a hauntingly lovely woman, standing in the midst of roses. He had asked about it on the first day. Joanna told him the beautiful story of Lizzy and Darcy, more complete than Fitz' version, and including later events.

"Aunt Catherine de Bourgh and her daughter Anne were staying with Georgiana at Pemberley after Fitzwilliam Darcy's death. The Fitzwilliam cousins came and went as they could, as one had his own estate to run, and the other was a colonel in His Majesty's service. One day, Elizabeth Bennett came to Pemberley with her Aunt. She was turned away by order from Aunt Catherine, but Colonel Fitzwilliam ran into her and showed her to the family burial plot. He then ran in and informed Georgiana, who had been suffering depression, with no relief, since her brother's death. Georgiana roused herself to go out to Darcy's grave, without her aunt's knowledge, and meet Elizabeth. They were bound together by their deep love for Darcy. Georgiana would not allow her to leave, but begged her to stay at Pemberley, at least for a while. In this, she went very severely against her aunt's wishes. Subsequently, Aunt Catherine and Anne left, and never returned. The Fitzwilliams tried to patch things up between the two houses, but Aunt Catherine would not give in, and Georgiana would not give up her friend." Joanna repeated the entire story fluidly, and with some feeling. Every once in a while she would pause and assess the effect the story was having on William, but, for the most part, he had stood looking out of the window, and she was unable to see his expression.

"What ever happened to Elizabeth?" he had asked softly.

"She never married. Her sister, Jane, married Darcy's very close friend, Charles Bingley, and they found an estate on the other side of Lambton. Lizzy bounced back and forth between the Bingley home, "Willow Wood," and Pemberley, becoming the resident "Aunt Lizzy" for both families."

William was more touched than he cared to admit. "What a sad story..." he murmured. The woman in the tapestry had deserved more than that.

"She had a reasonably full life, even without marriage. She was surrounded by many people who loved her dearly, she was well-taken care of, and she was not idle. Our extensive rose gardens are to her credit, and she was very active in developing child labor laws and welfare in the surrounding factory towns.

"How do you know all this?"

Joanna sighed deeply, "When I was fourteen, I found her diaries, Georgiana's, and read them. I feel as though I know her very well. She came alive for me through those pages. She was rather shy, had not known her mother, who died young, and lost her father at an early age. Her brother, Darcy, was the center of her universe. When I read how close and loving they were, how well he took care of his little sister, I just weep. I have never had a relationship like that."

"What became of Georgiana?"

"She married John Curwood in 1822. They remained at Pemberley, and raised their family here. She also maintained close friendships with Colonel Fitzwilliam and his brother. With Elizabeth's and their guidance and love, she grew into a strong and capable young woman, able to maintain Pemberley as it had been in her brother's lifetime. To her, it was a sacred trust, and she met the challenge. She also passed down those ideals to her daughter, Anne, and her other children. She died in 1875, having lived a life full of love, and friendships, and children, just as her brother would have wished for her."

"I can see why it is a favorite legend in these parts," William said, finally turning around. He looked for a very long time into Joanna's beautiful, expressive eyes. He was touched that she had shared so much feeling with him. But then again, they had felt close from the moment they met.

"I have a surprise for you!" Joanna announced, walking briskly into the room. "It is a beautiful day out there, and we are going to enjoy it. Come along, William!" She pulled him gently by the hand, her face aglow, and her eyes pleading with him.

William could not resist. He allowed Joanna to lead him outside and away from the house. Once they reached the woods, they meandered along a well-worn path. The breeze felt wonderful after so many hours of desk work -- just a hint of chill to remind them that winter wasn't quite over, and that, at five o'clock in the afternoon, it wouldn't be long before the sun touched the horizon. He was feeling lighter and younger with every step. It was more than pleasurable to be pulled along by a sweet sprite such as Joanna, for her mood was infectious. Joanna finally slowed down a little and linked her arm with his. They pointed out early flowers, and birds, and, when they came across a pond, laughingly agreed to come back in the summer and go for a swim.

They agreed to circle back toward the house, so Joanna could show William the well where Alyssa was going to set up her artwork. William gave her a penny to throw into the well for good luck, and was going to do the same for himself, when Joanna suddenly put a hand on each side of his head and drew his face, slowly but determinedly, down to hers until their lips met...

Alyssa loved the feeling of spring in the air, and walked with a bounce in her step, along the path to the well. 'Say, isn't that..?' "Hellooo, Joanna!" she called, but the two people did not hear her as their heads drew closer together.

Chapter 5 Continued

illiam placed his hands on Joanna's shoulders and gently pushed her away. He was dumb-founded, shocked...every word he thought of to describe the situation sounded inadequate or trite. He did not know what to say to her, no clue whatsoever. Joanna stirred him deeply, but not in this way. How could he tell her, and not lose her friendship?

Joanna stood watching him...waiting. He found it very difficult to meet her eyes, but when he did, he was yet again surprised. "Well, what do you have to say, dear William?" She seemed anxious yet pleased with herself, and did not seem upset by his lack of response.

"I am all astonishment..." he finally choked out. "You are a lovely young woman...but..." He felt highly uncomfortable and stepped slightly away from her.

Joanna almost laughed, but William's expression reminded her to tread carefully. "You didn't feel swept away, did you?" She could see that he hadn't. "Neither did I," she admitted.

"I am at a loss to understand..."

"William, I was hoping for this response, for I felt most certain that it would be mine, too."

"Then why?"

Joanna came toward him again, and looked determinedly into his eyes. "Do you trust me?" she demanded to know.

"I would hope to..." He was naturally hesitant. She was leading up to something, and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it.

"I was afraid that you wouldn't believe me unless your feelings were strong enough to override your logic." She gently took his hand, "Please, let's go back to the house. I have another story to tell you."

William resisted for a moment, but the look in her eyes was very compelling.

As they headed back along the path, Joanna asked, "How much of the tour did you personally see, Darcy?"

He was confused by her use of his first name, and where she had learned of it, but decided that was not the largest mystery in his life right now. "I saw the entrance, a sitting room, and the library," he finally replied.

"So, you did go into the library?" she mused. "How did you find it? Was it a comfortable room?"

"Well...yes, I would say it was. I sat in the leather chair for a few minutes. I had not been feeling well."

Joanna raised her eyebrows, "Not feeling well..." she echoed. They had reached the house. Joanna ushered him inside before her, then said, "Let's return to that library and have some refreshment."

It looked much the same as it had on the day of the tour, except the drapes were open, and the furniture and objects in the room were more easily viewed. Joanna motioned for him to sit in the leather chair, while she went over to a side table and poured them both a short glass of... "Brandy?" William was more than surprised by her choice of beverage. He had expected a glass of mineral water.

Joanna noticed his expression. "Drink up," she commanded. "You will need it." She gasped a little as she sipped her own, but kept it down. She needed a little extra fortitude herself. She wandered over to the mantle and fingered some miniatures, a collection. She pocketed one, then turned to address William, "Did you see these when you were here last?"

William shook his head. He got up and came around the desk to where Joanna was standing. The first one was of a young girl... "Wait a minute, this is the girl I saw..." He shook his head.

"You saw when?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." He bent closer to look at the next one. Chills swept through his body, leaving him feeling light-headed. He closed his eyes and forced himself to breathe slowly and steadily. "This very definitely looks like the person I mistook for myself at a younger age," he murmured.

"When? Where?" Joanna persisted.

He looked back and forth from one to the other, then up at Joanna. "You're the girl in this picture," he stated. The hairstyle and a few other things might be different, but the eyes were the same.

"That is a picture of Georgiana Darcy," she said very softly.

"And this is...?"

"Fitzwilliam Darcy."

William was puzzled as to why Joanna was showing him these. "So, it is obvious that you are descended from the Darcy line, but I thought you were adopted..."

Joanna saw that he was willfully ignoring the obvious. This could end everything right here and now, her hopes and dreams, their friendship, but there was so much at stake that she had to say it, "I am Georgiana Darcy."

William was paralyzed; his mind, numb. No words came to his lips. He began to protest, but Joanna took control. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along, speaking rapidly, breathlessly, nonstop. "There are too many coincidences, my feelings are too strong to ignore...I knew when I read the diaries... William, you must believe me!"

She had brought him into the gallery, and pushed him in front of a large, full-length painting. "It's Fitzwilliam Darcy. You are he, can you deny it?"

He looked up at a finely executed painting of a young man. He felt woozy, but he tried to concentrate. This charade seemed very important to Joanna. He tried to be objective. His own hair was much shorter, the height and weight were similar, but there were differences in the muscle tone. Given that one was a gentleman landowner, and... 'What am I doing even entertaining these thoughts?' he chided himself. "I must be going, Miss Heywood..." He started for the door.

"Alyssa Benning is Elizabeth Bennet."

William stopped in his tracks. He turned and stared at Joanna. Anger filled his mind, and he warned her, "Do not toy with me..." He turned to leave.

"Bennet...Benning, Bingley....Bing," Joanna recited haltingly. "Jane...Janet, Lizzy...Lissy, Caroline...Carol..."

William ran frustrated hands through his hair. He slowly turned to face Joanna once again. She was standing in the center of the room, tears streaming down her face, looking very forlorn, almost without hope.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy...Darcy William," she whispered desperately.

He did not know if he could believe what she was saying, but he wanted to, he wanted to very much. He took long strides back to where she was standing and gathered her into his arms. They hugged each other very tightly, and then he kissed her on the forehead.

"Yes!" Joanna exclaimed happily. "Oh yes!" She saw his confusion. "You always kissed me on the forehead. Didn't it feel normal?" She grabbed him by the lapels and looked deeply into his eyes. "Didn't it feel right? William, compare it to the kiss at the well. Don't you see?" she finished wistfully.

William felt his heart swell with love for this girl who claimed to be his sister. "I...I...I want to believe you, Joanna. I think I do believe you. I am just in such a state of shock. Give me time..."

Joanna dared a small laugh. "I have not enjoyed my brother's company for 183 years, and he wants more time!" She could see the lines in his forehead and around his mouth softening, relaxing, accepting. It was going to be okay.

They were sitting next to each other on the couch in Joanna's study, comfortably close. Once William decided to go along with her deductions, many of the feelings that he had been trying to suppress came to the surface. Then, there was the house itself. He could not deny that it worked some magic on him. And now there was someone to share his thoughts with.

"So, I would assume that Fitz was Colonel Fitzwilliam," William decided. He smiled crookedly, "It's nice to have the security of long-standing friendships." He stood up and faced the tapestry depicting Elizabeth Bennet. "Does she know?" he asked tenderly. He had been afraid to investigate his feelings about this particular aspect of the situation.

Joanna shook her head, "She does not know, yet she has exhibited some feelings. She loves Pemberley, and she is again my dearest friend. But her temperament is such that I cannot just go up to her and say, 'You are Elizabeth Bennet,' especially when she realizes that Fitzwilliam Darcy is alive and well and living down the street from her. She will run back to Janet, I am certain of it."

William realized that the idea of their being Darcy and Lizzy was growing on him. His heart and mind were opening up, and he was able to admit to himself that there was a strong attraction between them. The more he dwelled on it, the more he realized the truth of it. He loved Elizabeth Bennet. He had loved her for a long, long time...almost forever. Bits and pieces of the story floated through his head, but this time they took on more meaning, more meaning than he could stand. He put his face in his hands and wept. He was not used to giving in to his feelings, but the thought of darling Elizabeth, poor 'Aunt Lizzy'...he had left her behind. "Oh Lizzy! My love, my life...I am so sorry. God knows, I did not want to leave you." Visions of her as she had been flitted through his mind. His anguish was extreme. But out of the torment came his resolve. He looked up at the tapestry. "I will not lose you again."

He turned to face Joanna, "I am sorry that I left you," he said, approaching her and taking her hands. "I would never have wanted to cause you such pain. I would not have wanted to miss watching you grow up, to not know your children."

"I do not blame you, William. I did not blame you then. Your place was with Elizabeth, and I was old enough to understand that."

He sank back down beside her. "Oh Joanna, what can I do? How do I approach Alyssa? I feel as though I can never face her again without becoming a blubbering fool."

"You are a strong person, William Austen. You will do whatever it takes." Joanna's mouth turned up at the corners, and she said slyly, "My plan worked rather well..."

William knew immediately that she was alluding to the kiss. Would it work? Would Alyssa feel anything? What if she didn't? Failure would be devastating, unbearable, unthinkable. She had to feel something.

"I will have everything in order and ready for your approval within the week," William promised as he headed toward the door. He was looking forward to having the room at "The Meadows" to himself. He desperately needed to think over everything that had happened since coming to England. Thankfully Fitz and Carol were not around to bother him.

He opened the front door to leave and was checked by the sight of that Dickey fellow and Lucy hurriedly pulling away from an embrace. 'Ignore them,' he warned himself, for if he didn't, he knew he would be forced to give Wendell Dickey a solid right to the jaw. He commenced walking toward his car, but Joanna came out of the house with some papers he had left behind.

"Let's go to lunch tomorrow," William suggested on the spur of the moment. Joanna quickly agreed and they set the time for him to pick her up.

Dickey sauntered over to Joanna, draped an arm across her shoulders, and gave her a tender kiss. "Hello, love," he greeted her. "I've missed you. You were so busy with Mr. Austen all day, that I had to find my own entertainment." He glanced at William as he said, "I hope we find something more stimulating to do with the evening."

William could barely stop himself from making Dickey eat his words but, in the end, he could only scowl as he watched Joanna give the cad a kiss for a kiss. She turned and faced William, her face flushed; his insides heaved and roiled at her look of defiance. Her eyes were burning holes into him. Her expression reminded him very clearly that he was not her brother this time.

William turned his back on them and walked briskly away. The extreme emotional highs and lows, and the utter confusion of the events that had just transpired, were wearing him out. He was glad to be in the automobile and roaring away from Pemberley. He pressed down harder on the accelerator, and his hands gripped the steering wheel as though they were around someone's neck. He did not relax until he was parked in front of the inn. William slumped forward tiredly and rested his head in his hands. Joanna's face rose unbidden. He could not resolve their own budding relationship with that of her and Dickey. Had he misunderstood her look? After all, he did not really know this Joanna. Once out of Dickey's sight, he could think more clearly. Upon reflection, the look had seemed more 'imploring'... "Please do not interfere...Please trust me."

William rubbed his eyes and exited the car. "Yes, I trust you, Joanna, but I am afraid for you."

Chapter 6

Joanna got into the car with a cheery "Hello!" but William could only bring himself to echo the word, not the mood. He had paced the floor for hours last night until he realized that Mrs. Dunnan might rightly want to do away with him.

She noticed his lack of good spirits and knew the reason for it. "Oh William, forget about Wendy. He's just a friend." She read the disbelief in his eyes. "The man just likes to twit you," she explained. "Now, show me a smile and let's enjoy the day."

Could he believe her? At this point there was nothing he could do about it anyway.

"Say, let's stop by the library and invite Lissy along. It wouldn't hurt for her to get to know you better."

"You mean, get used to having me around," William responded. "You know, familiarity can breed contempt."

Joanna pooh-poohed his sour point of view. "In your case I would think that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and if all things are relative, she should be extremely fond of you by now."

William barely dared to hope so, but he made an effort to lighten his mood for Joanna.

Alyssa soundly stamped the name of the library on each book. Thump! Thump! Thump! Charlotte walked by and addressed her in a stage whisper, "Shhh! This is a library, you know!"

Alyssa took the hint and utilized the stamper with a lighter hand... until her thoughts ran away with her again. Her mind kept playing the same scene over and over. Joanna and William kissing - thump! William's face floating on the page - thump!

She heard a giggle and looked up to see the objects of her ire watching her. Alyssa quickly set down the stamper, then accidentally knocked it over as she flipped the cover on the book closed with an agitated hand. William retrieved the errant stamper and set it gingerly on her desk, as though he could guess what she had been doing with it. Her face flushed. "Thank you," she said in an effort to appear calm, normal. "How are the two of you today?"

"We're going to lunch - are you able to join us?" Joanna asked. She was in very good spirits - she practically glowed.

"A woman in love," Alyssa thought dourly. She glanced at William --- well, he wasn't glowing. He looked as though he hadn't slept. She didn't like where the thought was taking her, so she gave her attention to answering the question. "I'm sorry, I have to eat in today. Charlotte has an appointment and I said I would cover for her."

"We shall miss your company," William commented with a smile. He had been watching her from the moment they entered the library, and had finally dared to speak.

"Say, weren't you going to come over after work yesterday?" Joanna demanded to know.

Alyssa turned bright red and averted her eyes.

'Oh no!' Joanna exclaimed to herself. The same thought did not occur so quickly to William. Joanna tossed her head, indicating that he was to go elsewhere for a little while. She leaned forward, close to her friend, "You saw me kiss William!" she accused.

"If I had, it would be none of my business," Alyssa replied primly.

"Oh Lissy! It was all on my part!"

Alyssa raised an eyebrow. Joanna was not a Lucy. She would not have kissed William without provocation.

"It must have been spring fever," Joanna giggled. "I mean, look at him -- he's gorgeous! There I was, walking through the woods on a rare warm day with Mr. Tall-Dark-&-Handsome. Can you blame me?"

Alyssa sneaked a peak at William who was leafing through current magazines. Her expression assured Joanna that she would have done the same, if she had dared.

Joanna tried to look somewhat downcast and sighed, "But it was totally one-sided."

Alyssa looked at her lovely young friend and found that hard to believe. "Is he gay?" she asked bluntly.

Joanna could not help a snort of laughter. William glanced up and looked at them questioningly. That was too much for Alyssa, and she began to laugh also. Now William was truly mystified.

"Oh Lissy!" Joanna gasped. "The poor fellow has already put up with so much nonsense from me. Please be kind to him!"

William walked back to the desk and studied the two young women. "Why do I sense that your merriment is at my expense?" he frowned.

They both laughed aloud, and it took a few minutes for them to recover. Alyssa could see that William was trying to be a sport, but that he did not enjoy being made fun of. "I'm sorry, William. Joanna and I are proper young ladies when we are apart, but put us together..."

"...and we will not be responsible for what happens!" Joanna finished.

They finally calmed down and William and Joanna started on their way, but then William remembered something and returned to where Alyssa was sitting. "If you don't work tomorrow, would you like to have that lunch?"

"I thought we agreed on dinner," she teased.

"If you don't mind, I would prefer to make a day of it," William suggested.

Alyssa was more than flattered. "That would be nice," she responded self-consciously.

"Eleven o'clock then? I'll come by for you. Oh, and dress casually to begin with -- we'll see how the day unfolds." He gave her an enigmatic smile.

Alyssa could barely reply. Her mouth felt like it had cottonballs in it. "I shall look forward to it." She risked a quick look at his eyes. 'Has he always been this charming?' she wondered. Her insides felt deliciously tingly. She waved good-bye to them both as they departed for lunch; her thoughts lingered on every word they had spoken. Then the unsettling feeling of foreboding...the overwhelming feelings in her dream...slipped in and swallowed her up, and she trembled involuntarily.

Chapter 6 Continued

"Lissy, are you feeling okay?" Charlotte had just returned to work and found her friend looking distracted and pale. "Lissy!"

Alyssa focused on Charlotte's kind face. "I have a date with William Austen," she mumbled.

"The 'Ugly American'?"

Alyssa nodded, "He owes me dinner because I beat him at darts."

Charlotte grinned, "A man who pays his debts. A good looking man who pays his debts and loses gracefully. There is hope yet."

"He is nice...but...oh, Charlotte. He's the man in my dream!"

"William Austen is the man who walks away?"

Alyssa nodded, "And when he does, it feels as though I'm being stabbed through the heart."

'Well, it is natural that William would show up in your dreams. He is a new acquaintance and very nice-looking...but that doesn't mean he would leave you."

"But I'm afraid," Alyssa admitted. "Just the possibility of it happening hurts too much."

"Lissy, give the man a chance," Charlotte advised. "You may find that you are not compatible at all, but you won't know either way unless you try."

"It isn't worth it," Alyssa sighed glumly.

"There are no guarantees, Lissy. Do you think Janet is sorry because she has dared to love Charley?"

"Well, of course not. Janet and Charley are like two halves of a whole...and then there's little Charley, too."

"So, Janet prefers to be vulnerable to what life has to offer instead of being safe in spinsterhood?"

Alyssa contemplated her friend's words. "All I know is how I feel. Every night I have that horrible dream; it's always there in the back of my mind."

"Lissy, it's just dinner," Charlotte urged. "Having dinner is known to be relatively harmless. Just take one step at a time." Charlotte sighed at her friend's downcast features. What she wouldn't give for some of the opportunities Alyssa threw away.

William and Joanna clinked their water glasses together. "Here's to friendships and family," William said.

"And never-ending love," Joanna added. After her sip, she said, "Very smooth move, William, planning to spend the day with Alyssa. What do you have in mind?"

"I have no clue," he admitted.

Joanna laughed delightedly. "Are you looking for sisterly advice?"

William nodded. Within fifteen minutes Joanna had outlined a plan that included hiking in one of the loveliest areas of Derbyshire, and a very private picnic with foodstuff, linens, and beverages provided by her own staff. The plan would provide ample time for conversation and would not have to compete with the noise of the cinema nor the public distractions of a restaurant.

"Thanks, Joanna, for the guidance," William said, then grew more serious, "And now please allow me the privilege of a brother for just a few minutes."

Joanna could sense what was coming, and did not know how she was going to deflect his questions.

"How well do you know Wendell Dickey?"

"Well enough," Joanna replied shortly.

"Are you attracted to him?"

"That question is rather forward for someone I did not know a week ago.," she warned. "Let us say that Wendy can be very charming."

William was concerned and puzzled. Joanna's avoidance techniques were out of character. Why was she defending Dickey? "As your brother, I would like assurances that his treatment of you has been above reproach."

Joanna found it difficult to meet his eyes as she said, "He has not done anything that I have not allowed him to do."

William kept thinking of Dickey...dancing with Alyssa, embracing Lucy. "I must be honest and say that I do not trust the man."

"You are entitled to your opinion."

William's temper flared a moment, "Why do you protect him?"

Joanna met his glare with one of her own, "And why do you condemn him? Tell me your reasons," she demanded.

"I feel that he is superficial and may have hidden motives."

"Would this 'feeling' stem from the fact that women find him attractive?" She cringed as she spoke the last words, but she wanted him to desist.

William's eyes hardened and he sat upright.

Joanna felt as though she were caught between two very strong forces, but knew that she was already committed to the path she was on. She laid her hand on William's arm. "Please," she beseeched him. "Please trust me."

"Joanna, I feel that something is very wrong. I wish you would tell me the real extent of your relationship with that man."

"There is nothing to say, William. If something happens, I will tell you," she promised.

William did not believe her, but felt that the conversation was headed nowhere. "As you wish," he capitulated, and he tried to remove Wendell Dickey from his thoughts, at least for the afternoon.

"Let's talk on other subjects," Joanna suggested. "Here, I have something for you..." She pulled a man's ring out of her pocket and held it out to him.

It would only slide onto his smallest finger, a pinky ring. William looked up questioningly.

"It belonged to Fitzwilliam Darcy. Georgiana wore it on a ribbon around her neck after his death."

William studied the ring more carefully. It was done very tastefully, with an eye for detail. The initials "FD" were engraved on each side of the center which depicted the D'Arcy coat-of-arms. "Thank you, Joanna, but your gesture is not necessary. It really should be included in the estate."

"That is something we need to discuss," Joanna responded. "but not today. We need to make arrangements for you to become part of Pemberley."

William was startled. The thought had never occurred to him. "No, truly, I could not..."

"William, I do not intend to lose you now, and you belong here!"

"As you suggested, we will discuss it later." He could see that she wanted very much to please him, to give him a token of her love and trust. "I will accept the ring after all. It is an exceptional gift and I admire it very much. Thank you." Earlier in the day he had thought of a favor to ask, and he posed his question now, "By the way, Joanna, would you allow me to read Georgiana's diaries? I think they could really clear up some of my confusion."

Joanna froze. 'Impossible!' she thought. She could not let him read the passages about George Wickham --- not yet. That's why she had removed Wickham's miniature from the display. William would be unmanageable if he was reminded of his past history with the man. "I'm sorry," she stalled, trying to think of an excuse. "I recently loaned them out to a local historical society. Perhaps you could look through them at a later date."

William noticed the guarded look in her eyes, and sighed. 'It seems she must have her secrets,' he thought, feeling discouraged by her unwillingness to confide in him. He hoped that the day would come when she could turn to him with anything, and that she would remain safe until that time.

When William returned to "The Meadows" he asked to use their internet service to send an e-mail to his secretary in Chicago. He commissioned her to use all of her resources to find out anything she could about Wendell Dickey, and to report back to him immediately. He had begun the only course of action open to him without Joanna's cooperation. That taken care of, he was free to think of tomorrow, and he went over Joanna's instructions again to fix them in his mind.

Chapter 7

The morning was a bit chilly, but not unbearable in the sunlight -- a good day for hiking. William made the trip to Pemberley to fetch their lunch, and listen to Joanna's final bits of advice, then made it back to Alyssa's house a few minutes before eleven. The young lady in question was standing in her side yard, chatting with her neighbor. Khaki shorts, heavy socks, sturdy hiking boots, fleece top, jacket tied around the waist, all-purpose hat, and a water bottle... and she still looked good. He was glad that he had thought to call her and mention the plans to hike. Nothing was worse than going on an outing with someone who was not prepared.

"Good morning, Alyssa!" he hailed as he walked up. He noticed that the elderly lady standing next to her was watching him with much interest. "Hello," he said.

She nodded at his greeting. 'So this is her young man,' Aunt Kate thought to herself, as she looked him up and down.

Alyssa could tell that her neighbor lady was going to assume too much. "Aunt Kate, this is William Austen. William, my dear friend Kate Bennigan."

"We're not really related," Aunt Kate whispered confidentially. "We just like to pretend that we are. Alyssa is very kind to an old lady - like a granddaughter to me."

"Relatives that one chooses for oneself are often more pleasing," Alyssa teased her, "and if they are not, you can just cut them off!"

"Sometimes that occurs among blood relatives, but it is much messier," Aunt Kate reflected.

William wondered if she was speaking from experience. "Are you ready to go?" he asked Alyssa. She nodded, so he turned to the older woman and said, "It has been a pleasure to meet you...Aunt Kate."

"The pleasure has been mine..." She extended a hand. "I hope that we will have an opportunity to speak at greater length, Darcy."

William was startled by the use of his first name, but gallantly took her hand and gave it a quick kiss. It was not his normal style, but seemed appropriate in this case.

"One should be careful of doing that to old ladies!" Aunt Kate smiled in approval. "Enjoy your outing, children!" She waved them on their way and returned to her gardening.

As they walked to the car, Alyssa had to comment, "Well, you have certainly charmed Aunt Kate!"

"She seems very nice," William replied. "She must be for you to think so highly of her as to call her 'aunt.' And I am predisposed to favor anyone who is partial to you."

"I'm rather surprised that she called you Darcy, though," Alyssa reflected. "Joanna had told me your name because she thought it was such a coincidence, but I did not tell Aunt Kate. Oh well," she shrugged, "she is getting up there in years, and you do look somewhat like the portrait of Fitzwilliam Darcy. You know, confusing the past and the present is one sign of senility. I will have to watch Aunt Kate more closely."

"She could be confused," William agreed, but as he envisioned Aunt Kate's alert, wise eyes, he did not think it probable.

William parked the car in the middle of the village of Hope. 'Auspicious name,' he thought as he donned a backpack. He and Alyssa were both in good spirits as they started up Edale Road.

"The trek up the hill is pretty strenuous," Alyssa informed him. She had been on this trail once before. It was a challenge, but worth it for the unequaled view.

"Perhaps I should get a rope out of the car," William laughed, "in case you need to pull me."

"Do I detect sarcasm?" Alyssa asked primly. She grinned, "Would you like to place a bet on who makes it up the hill first?"

William shook his head in mock despair, "Not already! Besides, I am wise to your tricks, Miss Benning. You have seen the ascent and I have not!" He grinned back at her, "I am sure there will be many other opportunities for us to carry on our little battle of the sexes."

Alyssa raised one eyebrow, "Have you been taking lessons from Fitz, then? It sounds like something he would say."

"We have been friends for a very long time. Some of his charm was sure to rub off." He tried to look as though his mind was filled with evil intent, but obviously failed miserably, because Alyssa burst out laughing.

Soon they found the road marked as a "dead end" and veered off to the right. The river was silvery swift as they crossed a bridge, and the grass was that bright spring green that William thought of as Easter grass. The trees were newly leafed out, and the birds were busy with their nest-building activities. William and Alyssa were both glad to have their jackets with them because the trail hid them from the sun much of the time.

"This is the old Roman road to Glossop," Alyssa informed him as they went under a railway bridge.

William marveled at how much of the Roman roads still existed. "The roads of today barely last through a winter, especially in Illinois," he replied.

They took a farm road that forked to the right, and William got his first look at "the hill." He was glad that he hadn't placed the bet... and that the challenge came at the beginning of the hike when he was still able to meet it. Alyssa took the steep climb with little effort, and William made a show of being equal to the task. They stopped and rested halfway up the hill by a sign that read "Twitchell Farm," and rewarded themselves with the view -- lush valleys, dramatic rocky outcroppings, and the lonely sound of the wind across the barren hillside.

"Shhh," William whispered. "In this spot it sounds like the winds that blow around the Wupatki Indian ruins in Arizona. I can imagine myself as primitive man, looking out of his dwelling, and listening...waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Alyssa asked curiously. She found this William very different from how she had supposed him to be... a nice kind of different. And was gratified that he chose to keep the conversation on safe subjects. She felt herself beginning to relax a little. She'd had the dream again last night, and before William came to pick her up, she wasn't sure how she was going to make it through the day.

"For whatever life has to offer," he said simply. He noticed her confusion. "He would have been at the mercy of whatever Mother Nature dealt him, so he chose to embrace it. They had a bond with the elements that most of us could never hope to have."

"Isn't that a strange thought for a city man? I thought you lived in an apartment."

"Not all of my life. As I was growing up, my parents provided all the trappings of middle class success -- house, station wagon, pets. Mowing lawns was my first major business venture." William groaned inwardly at his inane conversation. 'I'm about as exciting as watching corn grow,' he chided himself.

"So, you have learned to work for a living," Alyssa said archly.

"Very definitely!" William replied. "I did all kinds of odd jobs during my years at the University of Illinois... dish washing, tour guide, my last year I was a T.A." He laughed, "It wasn't until about three years ago that I felt comfortably sure I could pay the rent." William stopped, embarrassed, "I am monopolizing the conversation -- forgive me."

"I am not one to suffer long in silence," Alyssa replied. "I will let you know when I've had enough!"

"Good morning!" Another couple greeted them and walked by. They came from one of the holiday cottages on the property. It had ceased to be a traditional working farm just the year before.

"We should start walking again, while we still can," Alyssa suggested motioning upward. They determinedly tackled the rest of the hill, then gratefully slowed their steps as the path cut across a field.

"Here is a bridle path," William suggested, but Alyssa shook her head, "We need to continue on to the boundary of the Open Country. If you enjoyed the wind cutting across the hill, you're going to appreciate the howling banshees that inhabit the summit," she informed him cheerfully.

The path gradually veered to the right and then connected to a broader path. Finally they conquered the hill and stood, balanced on a rocky crag. The day was clear and they could see for miles in every direction. William sought shelter from the strong, biting winds on the south side of the hill.

"What are those ruins over there?" he asked, pointing to a clifftop above the town of Castleton.

"Peveril Castle. It's named after a King's agent, William Peveril, soon after the Norman conquest in 1066." Alyssa hesitated, "Oh my, I am beginning to sound like a librarian," she said wryly.

"But I am a history buff - please continue," William urged.

"Well, some people thought William was the illegitimate son of William the First. Peveril first built up the castle with wood, but gradually replaced it with stone. His son lost the holdings to Henry I by being too blatantly independent. The king once used the castle as a meeting place between himself and King Malcolm of Scotland, and he availed himself of the fine hunting grounds in this area. It was used as a courthouse for a while, but now it has fallen into ruin."

William found a sheltered nook, and removed his pack. The sun was warming the rocks behind him, and it felt good enough to chance a picnic after all.

"Shall we have lunch? I'm starved!" William admitted.

Alyssa agreed and began to help him set everything out, but William made a show of leading her to her seat, and asked to be allowed to wait on her.

"A waiter? Another one of your odd jobs?"

"Oui Mademoiselle," he bowed. "Actually, the restaurant where I worked was German, a very famous restaurant in downtown Chicago. It had excellent food, which was fortunate, because their chef was one of those whose judgment must never be questioned."

"Oh, I see!" Alyssa sat up straight and looked down her nose at him. "Boy! Boy!" she clicked her fingers. She proceeded to criticize him for everything imaginable, including a smudge on the water glass which she was pretending to hold up to the light. She then proceeded to let him know how many twists of the pepper mill she required for her salad.

By the time she was finished with her tirade, William had set out the linen tablecloth, napkins, turkey and provolone sandwiches on parmesan bagels, red grapes, more bottled water, and a bottle of light Tuscan wine. He offered her a moist towelette, and then asked for her choice of beverage.

Alyssa was amazed at his attention to detail, until she eyed the crystal wineglasses and distinctive china. "These are from Pemberley!" she accused.

"I am caught!" William bowed in mock humility.

"That is hardly fair," she admonished. "You were supposed to provide the dinner, not Joanna. Although she seems to have done a thorough job of it."

"I had a few of the ideas," William explained, "and Joanna just filled in the empty spaces -- or was it the other way around?" He laughed at himself, then salaamed before her, "I agree, I still owe you a dinner, and you shall have it. Let's call this repast a 'bonus.'" 'Losing bets to Alyssa could be a favorite pastime,' he thought to himself. 'I must remember to do so regularly.'

He watched her nibble at her sandwich, one dimple flashing as she chewed. When she lowered the sandwich, William touched her cheek very gently with one finger.

"What is it?" she asked, quickly dabbing at her face with a napkin.

"An angel's kiss," he replied softly. "At least, that is what my mother has always called them."

Alyssa blushed and hid behind her wine glass. She could feel where his finger had touched her skin as though she had been branded; it felt that permanent.

William noticed her discomfort and sat back. "Tell me about you, Alyssa...about your family."

The sunlight glinted on a pinky ring that she had never noticed before. Her eyes were drawn to it again and again.

"Alyssa?"

"I'm sorry, your ring is very unusual. Has it been in your family for a long time?"

"Yes, it has, for a very long time." He did not offer to show it to her more closely. How could he explain 'FD' instead of 'DA"? "It is your turn to talk," he repeated.

Alyssa pondered where to begin. "As you know, I have two sisters, Janet and Lucy. We grew up in a suburb of London. My father was a professor of English Literature at Trinity College, but he died very young -- 47 -- of a heart attack. My mother was an assistant to an interior designer. She did not have a flair for color and line, but she excelled at distinguishing authentic period pieces from replicas." Alyssa gave a small wistful grin, "She loved spending other people's money!"

"What does your mother do now? Is she retired?"

"My mother died last year of cancer," Alyssa replied quietly. She began to wrap the rest of her sandwich in its paper, and held her arms folded against her chest. "It's pretty brisk when one is no longer walking about," she shivered.

'I am a fool!' William muttered to himself. 'Of course, Charley mentioned it several months ago.' Not having seen the sisters together, he really didn't make the association in his mind. "Alyssa, I'm sorry..." William moved to her side and took both cold hands into his. Then he freed one hand so he could move his arm around to her back, and just held her. William could tell by her glistening eyes that the pain was still fresh to her. He kissed her lightly on the head, then rested his cheek against her hair. It smelled good, fresh and clean, like lavender, and something else that he was not familiar with.

Alyssa leaned lightly against his shoulder, grateful for the warmth, and his consideration of her feelings. She did not have someone close to confide in, other than Joanna, who had her own problems to work through. Their mother's death had been especially hard on Janet, it coming so soon after the birth of her first child that she had not been a source of comfort either. Alyssa had discovered soon enough that the people who fluttered around her and asked prying questions during her mother's illness, did not want to speak of it again once her mother had died. It was surreal, the way her friends and associates could act as though it had never happened.

She looked up at William and read compassion in his eyes. "Have you lost someone to cancer, too?" she asked.

"My Aunt Catherine has been fighting it for the past few months. There is very little hope, and I expect to be called home at any time."

"I'm sorry, William. No one should have to die that way." She looked away, so he could only see her profile. "Sometimes I think that, if I were to get it, I wouldn't tell anyone so I could go quickly, and not make my loved ones suffer."

William frowned. Alyssa seemed so fragile and lonely, but hid it well in her daily routine. "Dying of cancer is terrible and ugly," William began, "but dying alone would be infinitely worse. You would do your family a disservice by leaving them out of it. Those who love you would wish to comfort you. I have seen people perform courageous acts when called upon in time of great need."

Alyssa straightened up. "Thank you for allowing me to share some of my feelings with you, William, but we are being much too morbid for such a lovely day." She stood up and gathered together the picnic items. "The next spectacular view is just around the corner."

William stood up and stretched, then helped clean up the area and donned his pack once again. 'No wonder she gets so testy,' he muttered as he followed her across the plateau. If they walked along the edge they could see lower Edale, and when they looked out across the valley, there was Lose Hill. Their path joined a Roman road coming up from Hope, and they followed it to Hope Cross where they admired Jaggers Clough and the east end of Kinder.

William and Alyssa had not said much to each other since lunch, but it was a companionable silence. Sometimes their hands would brush against each other as they walked, until William finally dared to hold her hand in his. He wanted to embrace her and kiss away all of her pent-up tears, but he restrained himself. Every moment he was with her, magnified his feelings for her, but he was afraid a premature display would frighten her off.

"This, along here," Alyssa gestured, "is Edale Valley, and over there, you can see into Ashop Valley. And just there...can you see it?...is Ladybower."

The view was magnificent, and well worth the climb. William took a few deep breaths, the chill in the air invigorating him. A heady feeling. He slipped an arm around Alyssa and gave her shoulders an affectionate squeeze. "I am in awe," he declared, "and I am glad that you are here to share it with me."

Alyssa glanced up at him; his beautiful dark eyes were much closer than she had anticipated. They drew her closer, compelling her to tilt her head back, and then he kissed her, lightly, playfully, tenderly. William turned her around to face the view, and wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm. She involuntarily shivered, and he drew her even closer to him. 'Does he know why I am shivering?' she wondered. She had to fight to keep her fingers from touching her lips where he had kissed her. His caresses had felt like 'angel kisses' but with the promise of more to come. 'Oh William! You stand me here before this view, but I can see none of it. I can only see your eyes, your lips...'

Slowly, slowly those feelings inside of her, those feelings that were her companions in the night, cast their shadow... Alyssa pulled away from William's embrace. "We still have a long way to go," she explained, avoiding his eyes.

William was unsettled by the sudden change. Something had happened... something had made her afraid. He had to find out what it was.

The rest of the trail led them past Clough Farm, up the south side of the valley to Backtor Farm, and then up a very steep grassy path to Backtor Nook. Another short steep climb got them to the summit of Back Tor, and then it was an easy walk along the ridge to Lose Hill. William noticed that erosion, caused by the feet of hundreds of hikers, was taking its toll, but he could see why they felt compelled to come this way. The view in all directions was superb.

He could see the village of Hope down below, and was glad that they were nearly back to the car. There had been a different kind of silence for the last half of the hike, and he didn't know what to do about it. Alyssa had withdrawn, not totally, but enough to make him jealous of whatever was taking her away from him.

William took a swig from his water bottle and leaned his head on the top of the car. "I have definitely had enough exercise for one day!" he exclaimed.

Alyssa allowed herself to laugh at his expression, and some of her tension fell away.

"Are you ready for that dinner now?" William grinned. It had taken them all afternoon to finish their hike, and he was famished.

Alyssa looked down at her rumpled attire in disbelief that he could be suggesting such a thing.

"You look beautiful," William said, coming around to where she stood. He tossed the water bottle and pack into the car, then said, "Let's go."

Before Alyssa knew it, William had grabbed her hand and was pulling her along the walk. He turned in at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant and found a place for them to sit. Within a short time, they were hungrily digging into chicken pot pie and a crusty round loaf of bread.

"Ah, comfort food," William sighed appreciatively.

Alyssa had to smile -- he could be so boyish and charming. "How did you know about this place?" she asked.

"I didn't," William replied. "I have found that, if I pay attention to where the locals dine, I usually get good food."

"Ah, the world traveler!" Alyssa teased him. She was feeling more composed the longer she sat there and chatted with William. He was easy to feel comfortable with; it was hard for her believe that he was the same man she had met a week ago. She watched him from under her lashes. 'What has changed?' she wondered. 'Why is he suddenly Prince Charming?' She could not think of anything that would account for it. 'Perhaps Joanna knows...'

The sun was setting on the two tired travelers as they drove back to Ashbourne and Alyssa's home. Their conversation had become easy again, and they both felt good about the day...about each other. William put his hand over Alyssa's on the seat of the car as they drove along, and she returned the squeeze. Maybe everything would be okay.

"I had a wonderful time today, William," Alyssa said as he parked the car. "I am really glad that we spent the day together." He started to open his cardoor. "You don't need to walk me to the door," she laughed, "I'm a big girl now."

William ran around to her side of the car and opened the door, "It is your day, my lady, and I am your humble servant." He ended with a flourish of his arm and helped her out of the car. They walked in silence to the door, then turned toward each other. "This was the best bet I ever lost," William informed her, taking both of her hands in his.

"I have a feeling that it was contrived," Alyssa smiled, "You lose a little too gallantly."

"The first time was fate, the second time will be by design," William promised. He leaned in to kiss her...

Hardly realizing what she was doing, Alyssa slipped her arms up around his neck, as he pulled her to him. She could feel the silky hair along the base of his neck, but it was her last thought as she let herself sink into bliss. The eternal flame was edging closer to consume them...

Foggily Alyssa murmured, "Oh William, I have waited so long for you...." She met each kiss with equal ardor. "I told you I would love you...forever."

Chapter 7 Continued...

omehow the words penetrated William's consciousness. "Lissy! My dear...sweet...Lissy," he whispered as he kissed her repeatedly.

Suddenly, swiftly, he could feel the change, the withdrawing...

Alyssa put her hands against his chest, then stepped back away from him. The hurt was evident in every line of her face. 'What have I said?' she thought wildly, 'I can't do this!' She looked at William, the concern in his eyes. "It hurts too much," she whispered. "There have been too many good byes."

William tried to draw closer but she held him off. "Alyssa, I love you..." he said huskily. The tears in her eyes were burning into his soul. "I will never leave you..." he assured her. He tried to touch her, but she pulled back and unlocked the door to her house.

"No one can promise that," she said dully. "Please, I don't want to see you again," and she disappeared into the house.

William closed his eyes in despair and leaned his forehead against the doorframe. "I am competing with a ghost," he whispered. 'A ghost that has shadowed Alyssa for two lifetimes, and will not let her dare to love again.'

Chapter 8

When William returned to "The Meadows", Mrs. Dunnan gave him a message to call his father. Intuition proved correct; Aunt Catherine had died, and the funeral would be Monday. William made a phone call to secure a flight home early the next day, then e-mailed the news to Charley and Fitz instead of calling them; he didn't feel like making small talk. Then he checked his own messages. One of them was from his secretary.

RE: Wendell Dickey

Under suspicion of running investment scams against young women in the southwestern United States. No charges were pressed because either the women said they gave the money to him willingly, or their parents didn't want the publicity, so long as their money was returned.

William worried about leaving Joanna to Dickey. The best he could do was call and enlighten her, so he rang her up.

"Pemberley." It was the butler whom William had met during his visits there.

"Charles, this is William Austen. Is Miss Heywood in?"

"Yes, Mr. Austen, but she is entertaining guests. May she return your call tomorrow?"

"It's rather important," William explained, "and it will only take a moment."

"I will inform Miss Heywood."

"Hello, William?" Joanna's breathless voice greeted him. "How was your day with Alyssa?"

"You will have to ask her," William said shortly. "My Aunt Catherine has died and I must leave tomorrow..."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." She hesitated, curiosity got the best of her. "But, what do you mean 'ask her'? It can't have been that bad!"

"Let's say it resembled the countryside -- some real highs and some very low lows," he explained wearily. "Anyway, I'll be back by Thursday or so, but there's something else we need to discuss..."

Joanna broke in, "Stop speaking in riddles and tell me what happened!"

"She doesn't want to see me again. You'll have to ask her why, for I am not sure I understand what happened." He strove to finish his sentence, "May I come over for a moment? It's important."

"I'm sorry, William, that would really not be convenient right now. Can't it wait until your return?"

"Joanna, I have information about Wendell Dickey that I think you should know."

"You have had my guest, Mr. Dickey, checked out?" she responded stiffly.

"Yes, but..."

"I hardly see that it was your place to do so."

"Joanna, listen --- Wendell Dickey is suspected of trying to run a scam operation..."

"Suspected? The police are looking for him?"

"Well, no, I don't think so," William admitted.

"Have charges been pressed?"

"No, they have not." He knew that he was sounding less credible with each response.

"Well then?"

"Joanna, please, do not do anything until I return. Promise me..."

"I am having a hard time understanding you, William. What you have told me so far is hearsay, and you seem to be implying that I am going to do something wrong."

William could hear Dickey's voice in the background, "Joanna, what's taking so long?"

"I must go, William. I'm sorry about your Aunt Catherine, and I'll see you when you get back. Good bye!" Dial tone.

'I'm doing well this evening,' William chided himself. He needed to make another phone call but felt so off-balance that he put it off until he had a cup of tea and collected his thoughts. 'Where's Joanna's whiskey when I need it?' he muttered.

Alyssa answered her phone on the tenth ring. "Hello?" She sounded tired.

"Alyssa? This is William. I would like to talk to you about today, tonight -- may I come over?"

"There is nothing to say, William," she sighed.

"Today was special, Alyssa - we both felt it. Please, don't ignore your feelings."

"I am not ignoring my feelings, William. They are telling me that this won't work."

"But, we belong together!" he blurted out. He was beginning to feel desperate, a bad sign.

"We belong together? I don't belong to you and you don't belong to me. We hardly know each other."

William tried again, "I'm asking you to give us a chance."

"I'm sorry, William. Today was lovely, and we will always have some nice memories. But you live in Chicago, and I live here. Why make our lives more complicated than they are?" Alyssa finished with an assertive, "Good bye!"

"Alyssa, wait... I'm leaving tomorrow to attend my aunt's funeral, but I'll be back by the end of the week. Let's talk then..." he suggested. Anything, any ray of hope, is all he wanted.

"I am sorry for your loss, William. Good bye." Dial tone.

William had to leave Derbyshire very early in the morning in order to catch his flight, so he decided to leave the note in her mailbox. He had written it last night, explaining his reasons for distrusting Wendell Dickey, and asking her to check on Joanna regularly in his absence. He also asked her once again to consider talking with him when he returned. The wording was simple and direct; William had not wanted to scare her away. But he hoped that she could read between the lines, that he trusted her and continued to admire her.

William sipped on his cup of coffee and waited impatiently for his flight to be called. Every time he tried to think about the past twenty-four hours, his head spun. He couldn't get Alyssa out of his mind. 'How can I reach her?' he asked himself for the hundredth time.

He spied a florist counter and went over to check out the display cases. There was a single red rose that reminded him of Alyssa...but then, so did the daisies, and the mums...and the chairs, and the walls... her face was everywhere.

"May I help you, Sir?"

"Yes, I would like this rose." He pointed into the case.

"Are you taking it with you, or would you like it sent, Sir?"

He gave Alyssa's name and address to the clerk.

"Would you like to include a message?

William automatically checked his pockets for a pen. In one coat pocket his fingers found a card, the one from the library at Pemberley. 'How did that get in there?'

"Sir?"

"Here," he said impulsively, "Send this with it," he said handing over the card.

"Flight 2077 to Chicago, Illinois, will now begin boarding."

William paid the man, then raced to join the line at his gate.

Alyssa could not bring herself to get out of bed for her morning jog. She felt awful. She looked awful, too. Her hair looked like a whirlwind, her skin was splotchy, and her eyes were almost swollen closed from crying. She stood in the shower and let the water pound into her head and shoulders. She turned the hot water off first, waited a moment, and then turned off the cold water. That should wake her up!

She shrugged into her heavy terry robe, towel-dried and combed her hair, and took two aspirins. Her eyes still didn't look too great, so she put in a few eyedrops, then laid on the couch and pressed an icepack around the eye area. She only had an hour before she needed to be at church.

Alyssa tried to think about yesterday, but her brain was too fuzzy. She remembered that it had started out well. The private William was much different from the persona he revealed to the world, and she could see why his friends were so loyal to him.

The end of the day was a blur... The only thing she could remember with any clarity was the kiss. She could still feel that all the way down to her toes. Had she really told him she loved him? But then her fright & flight response kicked in; she had panicked and retreated into the house. Alyssa had been trying to piece together what happened, when William called. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet. And then he said they belonged together. Other men had tried that line on her and it always made her run the other way. She detested being told what to do, and especially, how to feel. She was glad he was back in Chicago. Once he returned to his normal routine, he would forget about her. After all, they hardly knew each other. It was just a physical attraction. They had been caught up in the moment.

But then she had fallen asleep and had that dream again, but with a difference. This time, William was the one standing there, and she was the one who turned around and walked away. She could hear William calling for her to come back. He sounded so forlorn. She desperately wanted to turn around and go back to him; she wanted to feel his arms around her and to share his love. But she didn't know how to change course. Had William felt this way in all those other dreams? Had he not wanted to leave her? She could hear his voice, still calling to her but growing fainter... "I love you. I will never leave you..."

Alyssa woke up crying, for herself, for William, for them. It just wasn't meant to be.

Continued In Section III